Naturally Works for Me!

Things that make me happy. And smell good to boot!















If you're wondering why I pay a little more for my body products I would suggest visiting the website www.cosmeticdatabase.com and checking out some of your current body products and make-up.

Scary stuff people, scary stuff.

I buy these items at www.vitacost.com and pay considerably less than I would at drug stores or health food stores. It makes healthier choices a little more affordable.

It works for me!

For more great tips go visit Shannon at Rocks in My Dryer!

How We Homeschool - To Each His Own

One of the greatest joys of homeschooling is being able to cater to each child's learning style. We are firm believers that not every child learns the same way. Some children learn by sight, some by hearing and others are kinesthetic, which is hands on learning.

Our LiverPie has a much different learning style from that of her older sister. She is a robust child with a wicked (as in very witty, not evil. Although she does have her evil moments) sense of humor. She is very much like her daddy. So with much thought and discussion, Monk and I have decided to homeschool her according to her personal style, which is very similar to her daddy's style of learning. We think she should excel under this particular tutelage. Here is a sample:



I do hope you all realize that my tongue was planted firmly inside my cheek while posting this. I don't know how you all could think we would homeschool this way.

As if.

We would never use four part harmony. Hmpf.

*Admit it. It's a catchy tune, ain't it?*

Me and My Girl

Oh look, Baby Girl is so sad. Don't cry baby.















Look me in the eyes when I'm talking to you!















Nothin' better than big, slobbery baby kisses!

I Want the Gas Thankyouverymuch!

Do any of you have phobias? Do certain things just send you over the moon or under the bed when you even begin to think about them?

Me too.

I hate the dentist. Not my dentist, personally. No, he's great. It's just unfortunate he chose the career he did. It's his career I hate. Loathe. Despise. Truth be told, I'm afraid of the dentist. This is what happens to me when I have to go:

- Before I even leave my house I can fear the dread welling up inside of me. I check the children for fevers in hopes that maybe one of them is ill enough for me to stay home and nurse them to health.

- While in the car I usually pray for a minor car accident just so I can call with a legitimate excuse not go.

- When I pull into the parking lot my heart begins to palpitate at a very unnatural rate.

- I walk in the office door and the smell alone nearly sends me running from the office screaming, "you can't make me do this!". It is at this point that my gag reflex is activated.

- When they call me back, I physically begin to tremble and my mouth goes dry. Very, very dry.

- The sounds of drills drilling sends chills running up my spine and I begin to clench my teeth. I wonder if I collapse in a heap on the floor if they would consider rescheduling.

- Upon sitting in the chair, my heart shifts into high gear convincing me that I shall surely die from heart failure before one of their latex gloves even touches my dried up lips.

- By the time I have to open my mouth I have worked myself into such a dither that I start laughing rather nervously, almost maniacally, and my speech becomes rather fast and disjointed while I blather on about my gag reflex and telling them to " please do not let me swallow anything or taste anything because I will throw up on you." They love me there.

And this is only for a CLEANING!!

I had to go to the dentist this past week, so all of these things are fresh in my mind. My hygienist is usually very accommodating and tries very hard to keep my mouth sufficiently rinsed and suctioned. Because y'all, if I taste a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g I will begin to gag.

I am nothing if not lame.

Anyway, once my cleaning is complete and my dentist comes to check me out, things get a little stickier. You see, he's a guy with big 'ol sausage fingers. He jams his fat, little latex sausages into my mouth, with no regard for my terrifying phobia of him, and begins prodding around at my molars. He sticks my teeth with his little sticker thing at an alarming rate. All while talking and laughing and assuming that I'm not about to die right there in his dentified presence.

Now here's the kicker.

Just when I think it's all about to be over....he tells me I have an old filling that has some flaws and will have to COME BACK and have another filling put in it's place. Come back? (insert violent whimpering here)

Oh, the horror of it all.

I have to go back. I don't get my 6 month reprieve. I have to begin this vicious cycle all over again, but if you can believe it, on an even more psychotic level. Because after all, they will be DRILLING ON ME!!

Y'all, I would rather have natural child birth (supposing thus said child is not in the posterior position because dang, they hurt!) than to go to the dentist for a filling. We won't even talk about my neurosis when I have to have a crown.

But believe it or not, I'm good. You wanna know why?

Nitrous Oxide.

Oh yeah, baby. I signed up for the gas plan. For $35 extra dollars they can drill all the way to China and back and I won't care. I'll be thinking nothin' but happy thoughts. Am I a wimp? You bet! I want the gas!

Now if I could just get my hands on some of that stuff for the flight I'll be taking next week I would be Oh So Very Happy.

Nitrous oxide in portable form. Now there's a good idea.

Me and Martha? We Are No Longer Tight

As evidenced by my blog header, I like crafty things. When time permits, I can come up with some pretty decent crafty things. I'm not and organized crafter or a complicated crafter, but I really enjoy crafts that involve minimal effort with great results.

Many of you have seen on my blog that I will occasionally participate in Rocks in My Dryer's Works For Me Wednesday. Back in October I posted about making toddler crayons with existing broken crayons. You can find the original post here. This is one of those easy crafts with minimal effort yet great results (it really is essential that you go back and read that post).

I'm gettin' to my point here eventually y'all, just bear with me a little longer.

Well, about 3 weeks ago I picked up a copy of Martha Stewart's Good Things For Kids. It is a little mini magazine that has all sorts of neat kid friendly ideas in it. And you know I really wanted this little magazine because I was willing to shell out the $3.95 for it! $4.95 for those poor Canadians. You know, you must really love to read in Canada to pay that much because they really do get ripped.

I'm digressing again.

So I finally picked this thing up and really gave it a good thorough reading. I was enjoying myself immensely until I turned to pages 74-77. It was then that I gasped!

Martha stole.. ripped me off.. took my toddler crayon idea! Oh, yes she did!

Here is her page:















And here is one of my pics:















Can you see the similarities? Huh? Huh? Can you? Martha snagged my gig people!

So what if she has shiny, new heart-shaped pans! So what if she has professional photographers perfectly placing her color coordinated crayons! It was my idea FIRST!

But really, I'm not bitter. And my post was much funnier than her dry, crusty, old magazine any day.

Anyway, I just wanted to document it that you heard if FIRST here, at The Monk's Wife.

Oh, and Martha? If you're reading here...

It is most definitely NOT a good thing to take the ideas of middle class, suburbanite, God-fearing homemakers. And why? Well, you may have a bazillion dollars sister, but guess what?

I've got a blog and I know how to use it.

Sick Yet Interesting

$4775.00The Cadaver Calculator - Find out how much your body is worth.

Honestly, there are no words.

It Is Finished

Sad, but satisfied and not nary a pound heavier for it. My chocolatey heart overfloweth.

And You Thought I'd Forgotten - The Last of the TV Posts

Alright. It's been a while since I've posted on this, so if you're just coming in on this thread and you need to catch up you can go here, here , here and here.

There, now you're caught up.

For those of you that have been reading, this will be my final thoughts on the subject. Final is subjective y'all, so if I am so inclined to "touch" on it again, I do reserve my right to do so.

Because, after all, it is my blog. So, nah.

Some Most of you are Happy Dancing around your computers right now, but a few may be just a wee bit sad that it's coming to an end. Okay, so maybe not. But a girl can dream, can't she?

So. Here we go.

3. The dumbed down portrayal and effemination of fathers.

This has to be one of my biggest issues with the television. Gone are the days where the father and husband are portrayed as the leader, full of wisdom and respected by his wife and children. Now we just get these dumb, unassuming dolts, who can't seem to do anything right. Whose wife leads the family because the father is just to big and stupid to do so. And whose children have zero respect for him because after all, he knows nothing.

This just SO goes against scripture! God laid out a clear, concise plan as to who is to lead the family (Eph 5:22-24) and who is head of the home. We sit and laugh at these big idiots all in the name of humor, not stopping to think that this goes completely against God's plan. Why is it that we can read God's Word, nodding and agreeing yet when it comes to our entertainment, our self gratification, everything we believe goes out the window? We find that the dumb dad's are funny, the gay characters are just hilarious and as long as it's entertaining us then it's fine. When did what Scripture says become optional (I Thes 5:22)?

2. Commercials

This again is mostly subjective, but I'll go ahead a give my two cents on the subject. I will admit that there are some funny commercials out there. But mostly...trash. It is a barrage of the latest and greatest that encourages us to be discontented with what we have. There are some that are so suggestive that they are embarrassing to me. And frankly, where my children are concerned, it is yet one more thing to encourage them that they don't have enough.

I could go on, but it is mostly just a bunch of what I've said under the previous points and you wouldn't want to get me goin' again, now would you?

And finally...the last one! Can you believe it? THE LAST ONE!

1. It divides the family.

Some of you will either get this or you won't. Most that won't get it do not look at family the same way we do. And that's fine. Remember, these are my opinions and convictions.

When there are four different televisions in the house and the parents and children are spread all over the house, it is very difficult to nurture and develop relationships. When parents are watching their show, which isn't appropriate for children, the children have to be somewhere else. When the kids are blaring Dora the Explorer and the parents want to beat their head on the wall rather than listen to "where are we going?" 3 or 295 times, they leave the room. What ends up happening is that no one spends any time together and before long television and shows become more important than family.

Don't tell me it doesn't happen that way because I've seen it happen in my own home.

I truly think that Satan loves the boob tube because if he can put enough space between husbands and wives or parents and children, then it is a little easier for him to accomplish his agenda. He wants our children's minds and he wants our marriages to fail. When we spend countless, mundane hours in front of the tube and allow our children to do the same, then guess what?

He wins, y'all!

Plain and simple, that pretty much sums up how I feel.

*******************

Now, I'm sure you're asking yourselves (or not) does she watch any T.V. at all?

Why yes I do. On a regular basis I watch one show a week. A one hour show and that's it. I will occasionally watch something on the Food Network or a home improvement channel, but really nothing else. I do not count the news in this. But I still only watch the news a few times a week.

The way I see it, T.V. reminds me of the Lay's Potato Chip advertisements. You know the one? Where they're eating the chips and they say, "you can't eat just one". Well for me, television used to be the same way. I couldn't watch just one show. It turned into multiple shows and before long, my evenings were taken up with watching my shows and not spending quality time with my family. So, my solution was to watch nothing. I then managed to do the one show a week thing and it works for me.

Now some of you might be asking, "what about DVDs?". Well, I watch them too.

But I say that with this caveat: We have purchased a ClearPlay DVD player which has made watching a DVD much more enjoyable and much easier. I highly recommend them as they can filter out violence, nudity, profanity and blasphemy, which was a really big deal for me.

They are very cool to say the least.

So, there are my thoughts on the subject. I hope it wasn't too torturous for anyone who still might be reading here. For the record, my stats have not recovered since the first set of posts on the subject, so this post might be considered suicide.

Alas, so is life.

Let me hear your thoughts on the subject. Did you disagree? Did I make you mad? Do you agree?

A rousing debate in the comment section might be fun. And to those of you (you know who you are) that want to play devil's advocate because you think its fun...

Bring it on.

No Words

Sometimes, words are just not necessary.

Three to Zip: The Germs are Winning

Remember in this post how I said that I woke up with a sore throat and Sis had a fever?

Well, I still do and so does she.

And now, Liv has the fever too.

The germs seem to be taking over our relatively healthy household. Monk was sick a few weeks back with bronchitis that he thought was just allergies. Actually, the only reason he went to the doctor was because I lovingly told him his constant coughing was becoming annoying. Well, let me tell you...I got mine.

I went to the doctor today and guess what? Only the startings of bronchitis. That is problematic for me because the startings usually turn into the Full Fledged Plague and when that happens?

We is all in trouble then.

Because the Full Fledged Plague takes me FOR-EV-VER to get rid of. And I have places to go and people to meet! Really, I do. Monk and I are taking a trip in a few weeks and I don't want to be sick. A bona fide get on an airplane and fly somewhere trip.

Never mind the fact that I really hate cruising at an altitude of 30,000 feet where if something goes wrong I will fall to the ground, crashing to my death in a fiery ball of flames. Never mind the fact that because I'm nursing an infant I will not be able to take a strong narcotic to make me forget about Fiery Deaths, but will have to face my fear head on while holding said infant on my lap.

But really, I'm good. And I digress. We were talking germs.

Sis is on day six of fever and I finally broke down and took her to the doctor yesterday. The Doc thinks it started as a virus and moved into a secondary infection. A sinus infection. The poor baby has a major sinus headache. And Liv? Well, she's only just begun her fever and if there is a pattern to be followed than she will still have fever through the weekend. Oh joy.

Let's just pray that Baby Girl is protected by the MommyMilkSuperPowers. She's been protected before and I'm really hoping for it to continue. It will hurt me terribly if I've lost some of my Super Powers.

Madgirl is starting to have a little sore throat, but is trying to cut it off at the pass. And The Boy is pretty healthy still. It's like Russian Roulette around here when someone gets sick. You pretty much sit around waiting to see if you're going to be the next one to get it or if it will pass you by all together. Don't be fooled though. Most of the time? You get it.

And what do sick children do around here?

This one plays on the computer. She's still pretty cute for being sick, huh? Messy hair and all.










This one just looks pitiful. But in a really cute way.









And what do the well children do?

MadGirl and Baby Girl (Please do not tell the MadGirl about this picture. She would not be happy about the double chinnage going on here.)









The Boy









Apparently, they sleep. Which when you think about it...is not a bad idea.

I think I'll go do the same.

Works For Me Wednesday Backwards Edition - Herbally Impaired

Alrighty people. The herbal train has come to town and I'm afraid I'm gonna miss it! I need help in the herbal-all natural-organic-essential oil kinda way. Real bad.

I've learned quite a few things about herbs/essential oils/healthy eating, etc...over the past few years. This doesn't mean I've given up my Lay's Potato Chips with Dean's French Onion Dip. It just means that I now know what kind of garbage I'm consuming and what it will eventually do to me. I also consume less of it. I do use a lot of whole wheat flour, organic unrefined coconut oil and am moving to paraben- free toiletries, does that count?

Whoa. I digress.

So, I want to learn more about herbs and essential oils and how to use them. I ordered Eucalyptus Essential Oil from Mountain Rose Herbs the other day and now I have no idea what in tarnation I'm supposed to do with the stuff. Bright, I know.

You should see my math skills.

Anyone have any cheap inexpensive ways to go about doing this? Websites? Personal blogs? Anything? Bueller? Bueller?

To offer your advice to the many a wondering throng at the Backwards Edition of WFMW, head on over to Shannon's place at Rocks In My Dryer to see the other inquiring minds. Because they want to know. You know?

Civic Duty

Today I performed my civic duty. I voted.

I'm starting to look at this duty a little differently now that I'm older and wiser. I'm also looking at it from a more Biblical perspective as well.

Voting, as some might think, is not a God-given right. In this country though, it is a God-given privilege. A privilege that so many people take for granted. I get so tired of the whining I hear from various people over certain issues and certain politicians, yet those same people rarely take the time to keep abreast of the issues or more importantly, take the time to actually vote. How can this be?

I do believe as Christians, we have an obligation to vote. If God has put us in a position that allows us to do so then by all means, we should take advantage of any situation that would allow us to have our beliefs and moral positions heard. That doesn't mean that in the end I will always choose between the final two candidates. That has been a hard realization for me this election year. I will no longer vote for the lesser of two evils. I simply cannot, nor will not, cast my vote based on this premise any more.

I will cast my ballot based on my Biblical beliefs and moral conscience. This election year, that pretty much means that my candidate doesn't have a chance. I didn't used to feel this way. Once upon a time I was determined that my Republican vote was going to be cast no matter what and for whoever the Republican on the ballot happened to be. Well, since the Republican party has left me (literally LEFT), then by all means I have a moral obligation to leave them. I no longer have a party affiliation. I'm simply ...Conservative. Very, very Conservative.

Some of you may feel as if I'm wasting my vote. And that's okay. It took me a long time to realize that voting for the lesser of two evils was morally and Biblically wrong, so I'm okay with any flack I might receive because of it. Simply put, I changed my way of thinking for two reasons:

1. In the long run it doesn't help our country

and

2. It certainly doesn't advance the Kingdom of Christ.

So, as I voted today I had to stop and pause. I thanked God that I live in a free country (for now, at least) and I thanked God for the privilege to still have my say-so.

But most importantly, I left the ballot box with a clear conscience.

When Good Recipes Go Bad

I'm not quite sure where to begin. I've had a string of cooking and baking mishaps lately and just when I thought it was over, Saturday happened.

I should have known better when I woke up with a sore throat (not as bad as Sis who was running a temperature of 102). This, after bragging to two different people on Friday about how well I had been in the midst of other's illnesses. I'll know next time to keep my big, fat trap shut.

Pride before the fall, y'all. Pride before the fall.

I had a list of things I needed to accomplish Saturday. Namely making a big batch of cookie dough that was to be frozen for future cookies. This little item had been on my To Do List all week long and kept getting postponed. I figured since I didn't feel too well and I didn't feel like doing the big cleaning I had planned, I could at least get the cookie dough finished.

Oatmeal Chocolate Chip was my cookie of choice. I feel a little better about these because they at least have some oatmeal in them, plus I do add some whole wheat flour to make them a little more healthy. I try where I can people.

I needed to double the recipe to be able to bake some for us now and freeze some for later. Simple enough, right? Apparently not. Math is not my thing and adding fractions, as in recipes, is pure torture to me.

After I had made up the dough, I scooped 48, yes 48 dough balls out on a cookie sheet and placed them in the freezer. That's four dozen for the mathematically impaired. I left enough dough out to bake two dozen for the family for the coming week.

Oh, who am I kidding. Two dozen for the next two days.

Anyhoo, I put the cookies in the oven, set the timer for 10 minutes and set off about my business. When the timer went off and I opened the oven door, I was aghast! Something had gone horribly wrong. Horribly, tragically wrong.

All I could thing of was the fact that I had used a pound of butter. That's four sticks, y'all! Of my precious butter! And OH MY WORD, I had 48 dough balls (four dozen!) in the freezer! The horror of it all.

And this is what my cookies looked like:

Momma was not happy 'bout this. No, indeedy.















They were just...wrong! I went over and over in my head if I had left anything out. I scoured the recipe looking for things I could have missed, but I just couldn't remember. Obviously I had erred somewhere. I figured it was me and my math issue. I'm quite certain it was due to the fact that I failed my second semester of geometry in 11th grade. How could I have known that it would come back to haunt me 20 21 years later? I could not would not throw that cookie dough out though!

There was simply too much butter invested in this recipe to throw out that cookie dough! It would have been like throwing out one of my very own children over a bad haircut. I could fix it.

I called my sister and we brainstormed for a few minutes. All we could think of was adding some more flour. The cookies were not firm and that seemed the logical conclusion. So, I took the remaining dough I had and added a little flour. I baked three cookies just to see if it was enough.

Lo, and behold, we had a viable cookie! So I finished up the rest of that batch and then pulled the dough balls from the freezer. They would need doctoring as well. I certainly hope frozen dough can be unfrozen and refrozen or all was for naught. If you know the answer to this and it is not a pleasant one, please refrain from telling me so. I just don't think my buttery heart could take it.
Ask yourself. Could you have thrown this away?















Finally, after many hours of what was supposed to be the easiest task of the day, I had finally completed the cookies. This in the midst of doctoring fevers, nursing the baby, holding the baby, pulling cat hair from the baby's fingers, nursing the baby some more and doing laundry. Whew.

Ah, yes. That's more like it.















48 dough balls of deliciousness ready for the freezer















The day wasn't a total bust though. After I got the cookie situation under control and finished, I was able to give Baby Girl her bath. Then I slathered her in the delicious smelling Burt's Bees Baby Bees Buttermilk Lotion and put her jammies on her. And then the best part of all? I nursed her to sleep.

And that folks, pretty much made the day near perfect.

Oh yeah, that and the fact that Monk came home from the store with these:

Fisher Price for Insomnia

This little thing right here? I love it muy mucho. It lights up and makes bubble noises and plays Pachabel's Canon in D. Which, for the record, happens to be one of my most favorite classical pieces- Ever. And as a visual bonus, the little fishy moves back and forth...back and forth. It really is quite soothing. Whenever I go in the bedroom I turn it on. It lulls me to sleep every time. And Baby Girl is rather fascinated by it as well. It's a two-fer.

(Is it me or does she look as if she is wearing an Elvis toupee in this picture?)














And guess what?

I've run the batteries down in two days. Blast them darn batteries.

How will I ever sleep tonight?

The Crib

We did it. We finally broke down and bought a crib. We are of the co-sleeping mindset, but I have to tell you...I think we may be getting a wee bit too old...or too fat...or both, to be able to sleep with an infant for a whole year. We are still fans and supporters of co-sleeping...just maybe not quite as long with this particular child.

Neither Monk nor I had been sleeping well. Sleeping with Attila the Hun is never pleasant. I was having major chiropractic issues with my right shoulder and discovered it was from our co-sleeping endeavors with Baby Girl. And Monk? He has issues of his own in just falling asleep, so having a baby finger shoved up his nose in the middle of the night or his beard hair yanked out at random intervals was just compounding the problem.

Baby Girl has a co-sleeper, but was getting too big for it. We figured that out pretty quick last week when she flipped head first out of the doggone thing. We needed something bigger.

As in crib...bigger.

So, Monk not only bought me a crib for her, but let me buy the most darling bedding set at Target. I wasn't even expecting it. I was thinking crib, mattress and sheet. That's it. Then he chimed in about a bedding set and I was over the moon! Not that he's cheap mind you, but I was trying to save money.

So, last night we bought the crib and came home and put it together. Since the crib is in our room (because all the others are filled), we knew it was going to be a tight fit.

Do y'all think 6 1/2 inches between my side of the bed and the crib is enough room? Well, it has to be because that's what it is. I have 6 1/2 whole inches! I am thankful to God for those 6 1/2 inches because I wasn't even certain I was going to get those!

Let me tell you...I LOVE HAVING THIS CRIB!

Life has just been simplified greatly for me. I can now take a shower without having to have someone listening or watching for Baby Girl. I can now lay her down for a nap and actually leave the room to let her fall asleep on her own (which, by the way, she did today! Yeah!). I can now get dressed without having to break my neck trying to prevent her from falling off the bed while also trying to pull a shirt over my head.

These may seem like trivial things to y'all, but for me? It's like Disney World!

And so, I now introduce you to...

The Crib.















My whole 6 1/2 inches! Woo-hoo!















"Hey, isn't this what they call, 'baby jail'?"














Sleeping like...well, uh....a baby.














If you'll notice, above her head is embroidered with "lovely girl". We looked, but couldn't find one that said, "Sleeps like Attila the Hun". Apparently that's not real popular right now. Go figure.















Who coulda thunk a crib could make two parents so very happy. Happy Dancing that is.

In our 6 1/2 inches!

You Know You're A Cheapskate When...

....you leave the Goodwill having purchased a skirt for yourself, a shirt for your husband, a dress for your 7 year old and a small glass sugar bowl, having only paid just under $8 for all of it because you had a $10 off card....

....and on the way home you get buyer's remorse.

Babyzilla

We are firm believers in growing them big and strong around here



















Can you imagine what her diapers must look like?

Watch Out For the Mayonnaise

So tonight after Wednesday evening services I'm having another fast food craving. Last time it was Taco Bueno with not so good results. Tonight it was Whataburger. For those of you non-Southern folk, Whataburger is one of the most incredible mouthfuls of deliciousness you will ever experience. Yes, it is fast food, but they make their artery clogging goodness hot and fresh, with melt-in-your-mouth results.

We didn't want to eat full meals so Monk and I split a burger and fries while Madgirl, Sis and Liv split a 3 piece Chicken Tender meal (on which there is a delicious bread coating and served with a side of gravy goodness and a piece of Texas toast). Once home, we split up the meals accordingly.

Monk, God love him, has a certain propensity for...how shall I say this?

Dripping food down the front of him every time he eats a cotton-pickin' meal! He has truly ascended to new levels in the art form of splooging all over his shirt. What can I say...it's a gift and a curse.

Well tonight, Baby Girl was being her fussy, nobody's-gonna-please-me self. My Monk, being the gracious husband and father that he is, offered to hold her so I might be able to partake of a hot meal (which by the way is a rarity - I'm telling you the child has some sort of Hot Food Sensor chip and begins to wail the moment I attempt to take a bite). So, Monk is holding Baby Girl on one knee with one hand while eating with the other hand.

The man is nothing if not talented.

Anyhoo, while chewing my simply delicious bite of burger I look over to see that he's managed to mess himself (in the upper body sense of the phrase) once again. He is nothing if not consistent people. I let him know that he's dripped some form of mayonnaise/mustard mixture onto the front of his shirt. Being the classy sort of guy he is, he simply takes his finger, swipes it up and puts it in his mouth.

Something I forgot to mention about Whataburger, y'all....they don't put mayonnaise on their burgers.

This was not a mayonnaise/mustard combination.

This was a Pumpkin Pear baby food/breast milk/spit up combination.

OH YES HE DID!

The man ate baby spit up tonight!

Things get a little blurry at this point because once he realized that he actually ate baby spit up and I saw the look on his face...well, let's just say that I nearly lost consciousness from lack of oxygen due to laughter. Or rather loud guffaws. Loud, raucous, guffawing laughter. I'm sure you get the drift.

You've never seen a man dive for a Coca~Cola faster in your life! He then began to shovel french fries, slathered in ketchup into his mouth with tremendous speed and agility.

It was priceless, really.

Almost as good as the time he tried out the Bark Collar.

I give him credit though. Had he done this a mere five years ago, he would have been in the bathroom dry heaving his toenails. I still would have been laughing raucously and blogging about it, but a little concerned nonetheless.

The man has come a long way.

But I don't think he'll ever lick another thing off his shirt again.

Nope. Just wouldn't be prudent.

Child of the Light

This Little Light of Mine...















I'm Gonna Let It Shine...




















This Little Light of Mine...




















I'm Gonna Let It Shine, Let It Shine, Let It Shine, Let It Shine!















Mat 5:16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

Valentine-ish Stuff Amongst Other Things

Are these just not the cutest things you've ever seen? MadGirl wanted some special treats for a few friends of hers and this is what we did.

We made a batch of Rice Krispy Treats using strawberry marshmallows. Neat-o, huh? I then pressed them flat into a jelly roll pan and used a heart shaped cookie cutter to cut them out. A little more effort than usual, but they turned out very cute. You really can't tell from the photo, but they are a lovely shade of pink.
















Yea, we kinda like'em so we think we'll just have to keep'em.
















Only the best Valentine's Day gift ever. Not one, not two, but three bags of my favorite chocolates. One from each of my little ladies.

For those that know me...if my behind starts becoming unusually large over the next few weeks...rest assured, you will know why.


~And now for the Other Things ~

This week has not been a good week for me in the kitchen. I burned chicken breasts on the grill last Friday night. Tuesday night I burned a batch of Banana Chocolate Chip muffins. And today? Today I managed to burn toast. Not just a little either. Blackened to the point that the toaster was smoking like a chimney and I set off the smoke alarm. Y'all, I just don't burn things. And to burn three things in one week?

I am so ashamed.









One step before charcoal









Mmm...ewwww...









Tasty!














This little box? It made us very happy this week. Sigh....
It will make our lonely bank account very happy next week. Sigh...
Who says big families are bad? Sigh...

And last, but not least...the last installment of my reasons for Hating the Television will be coming on Monday. I have a very fun, relaxing weekend planned where I can sit and think about the last post long and hard.

So once again, be prepared to be challenged in your cultural thinking. Put on your arguing shoes if you need to...

This one's gonna hurt.

Me and Monk: A Love Story Part II

If you're just now coming in on the rapturous story of our love...please go here to begin.

And so our story continues...

Using red crayon as my pen, I unexpectedly ended our relationship. Monk's love was not hampered though. He gave me the space I needed (but truly didn't know if I wanted), yet knew in his heart of hearts that I would come back to him. After all, we did go to church together now and there was no way I could get around seeing him. Folks in the church were somewhat surprised as well. They were secretly rooting that I would rescue him from bachelorhood and a lifetime of bad fashion choices.

My mother on the other hand...well, I think "happy dance" would best describe how she felt. She had one word for Monk.

Weirdo.

I jest not. That's what she called him. You see, she had moved in with me after my divorce to help me financially. It was not a good arrangement. There are people you love and people you live with and sometimes you just can't do both. This was one of those arrangements. She didn't like the fact that:

1. I was dating Monk
and
2. I was dating Monk

She just didn't like him. She was suspicious of his carefree, debt-free lifestyle. But mostly she just didn't like his glasses. Yea, they were the thick kind. The kind that one must travel to the Hubble Telescope in order to cut the glass for them.

So, while I broke things off, I didn't stop seeing him. And after time we were back on as a couple. I'm telling you, the man needs a Nobel Peace Prize for continuing to stay with me despite my wishy-washy weird ways. By this time I had stopped going to the same church because I needed space and time to forgive my ex-husband. While I can't say what I did was right, it helped me tremendously. I began working through some forgiveness and was putting my depression behind me. And then July came.

It was the beginning of July and Monk was fixin' to leave for church camp. One night we were sitting in my car outside of his apartment (because I didn't go into his apartment - for moral reasons and the fact that it was a certifiable bachelor pad with the pizza boxes to prove it) just talking. I don't even remember what we were talking about, but something I said triggered Monk to correct me (surprise, surprise for those that know him). He called me out on something biblically and it ticked - me - off! I would try and justify what I was saying and he would ask me where I found that in the Bible. Needless to say, I couldn't answer him (because my attitude/view was not biblical and he was right and I knew it) and it made me furious! I told him so and then proceeded to tell him that I thought we didn't need to see each other anymore. How is that for mature?

So, off he went to church camp, expecting my ire to have cooled off by the time he returned.

It had not.

I wouldn't speak to him or answer his phone calls. He sent me a card for my birthday and I didn't respond. He sent my children cards to let them know he was thinking about them and I acknowledged nothing. Nada. Zilch. For weeks I acted as if he didn't exist.

This hurt him deeply as he knew I was the one for him and he thought he had lost me. When he would think of me he would play Gershwin's "You Can't Take That Away From Me". He comforted himself with this scripture and prayed this scripture to God:
Psa 37:4 Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

Two things happened in those six weeks. My depression lifted and I forgave my ex-husband completely. The bitterness and hurt that had saddled me left and I felt as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I was a different person. My mom had moved out and the stress of that situation was gone as well. Life was good, except I didn't have Monk to make me laugh.

Then on August 12th, six weeks after I had broke things off, I called him. It was his birthday and I just couldn't let it pass without acknowledging him. I could tell he was shocked and elated to hear from me. I wasn't even very pleasant to him on the phone. I told him the kids wanted to do something with him because it was his birthday.

Boy, was I shocked when I saw him. Gone were the thick glasses, replaced with some much smaller frames and thinner lenses. He had even bought new clothes. All for me. I know how shallow this makes me sound, but the fact that he loved me enough to go to the trouble of getting new glasses and clothes to impress me really astounded me. My ice-woman attitude melted and I found myself wanting to be with him. When I asked him if he thought we were over for good he responded with a firm, No. He then told me of the scripture that he read and claimed about me. This touched me deeply.

Not too long after that we were out one night and decided to head to Sonic for some Foot Long Chili Cheese Dogs. We are nothing if not some classy folks, let me tell you. This is when we started to talk about marriage. We started planning a future together that night in the Sonic Drive-In. So romantical, I know.

Monk never officially proposed - we just sort of agreed we needed to get married. By December of 1997 we made it official and set a date. While God had truly given me peace about my previous marriage I was still a little scared of a second go round. What if Monk left me too? He reassured me time and time again that he would never do that.

Finally, on June 27, 1998, we made a vow to one another before God to stay married until death do us part. My 6 year old Boy gave me away. Monk made vows to my children on bended knee and there wasn't a dry eye in the church. We then went on an excellent honeymoon to where else?

Disney World!

It only seemed appropriate since it was a phone call from Disney World that started the whole thing. And we took the kids with us. And we bought lots of Tigger stuff.

This June will be 10 years of marriage for us. There have been some very trying, very lean times in those ten years. We never turned on each other, but rather turned to each other. We leaned on one another and trusted God to take care of us and our love has done nothing but grown stronger. I no longer feel as if God had forsaken me in the area of marriage. He had a bigger plan the whole time. A better plan. A plan that I could not have dreamed of in a thousand lifetimes.

Monk is my best friend, my soul mate and my Beloved. I'm honored to be his wife.

Even if he is a weirdo.

Me and Monk: A Love Story Part I

It all began in November of 1996.

I was a newly divorced 27 year old mother of two small children. Bitter and hurt by the betrayal I felt from my first husband, I was not in the mood for love. As a matter of fact, I was determined to never love again. Day after day, I walked aimlessly, severely depressed and lonely, quite certain that God had forsaken me in the area of marriage. My life wasn't supposed to be like that.

And Monk? He was a certified bachelor. 34 years old and content in his singleness. His companionship came from a few friends and his dog, a chow/collie mix named Bear. He owed no one, paid cash for everything and most of the time had a few bucks to burn (oooooh, foreshadowing).

One of my very best friends from college was getting married. She was marrying one of Monk's old roommates - a friend from church. She knew the state of mind I was in and even though I wasn't in the wedding, had asked me to come to the rehearsal dinner. She knew Monk was going to be there (he was part of the wedding in some way - he's so old he can't exactly remember his part) and she was attempting to see what I thought of him.

Interestingly enough, the day of the rehearsal I found out that my husband had been seeing another woman for several months. It was a week before our divorce was final and I had prayed and prayed that God would change his heart. It was not to be. I was crushed. I called my friend's fiance crying and told him I couldn't come, not after what I had just heard. He encouraged me, for my friend's sake, to come anyway. And so I did.

Honestly, I have no recollection of even seeing Monk at the rehearsal, nor does he recall seeing me.

We are nothing if not astute.

My friend went on to get married and go on her honeymoon to Disney World. Monk was the one watching over their apartment and taking caring of their dogs while they were gone. One day, while at their apartment the phone rang. It was my friend on her honeymoon (in Disney World) on the other end of the line. She asked him (from her honeymoon, y'all!) if he would be willing to date a divorced mother with two small children. Monk thought for a moment and then said yes. He figured it was a win-win situation. His mindset, at the time, was that he wouldn't marry a woman who had been divorced (especially with children), but it might be fun to have another person with which to hang around with our mutual friends and not feel like the third wheel. There would be no strings attached.

After returning from their honeymoon and some time had passed, my friend called and asked if I'd be willing to go out with them and a friend of theirs. It was after Christmas by this time and a local amusement park was still having their holiday hours and shows. After making sure that there were no strings attached and that this wasn't a date, I agreed. After all, I wasn't in the mood for love, remember?

I should have known it was a sign when Monk showed up at my front door on December 28, 1996 and we were both wearing Tigger sweatshirts. I mean really, how many people wear Tigger sweatshirts? We went to the amusement park with our friends and had a really good time. What was funny was that we seemed to have nothing in common. But we had a good time. I said black and he said white. But we had a good time. We enjoyed laughing and that seemed to be the only common thing we shared.

We ended up getting together with our mutual friends again a few days later. This time at my house. We all had a great time talking and laughing. We did this many, many times over the next few weeks. We watched movies, played Uno and ate more pizza than I care to remember. What was great was that my kids really enjoyed him and he had a ball with them.

We didn't go on an official date until February. We then began to see one another without our mutual friends. Bless this man's heart. I had more baggage than Samsonite. I was still suffering from depression and still trying to deal with the emotions from my divorce and yet this man still wanted to be around me. After a particularly difficult event in March, when any sane person would have ditched me, he was still there. He realized he had fallen in love with me and was in it for the long haul. Me? I was barely surviving and not in the mood for love.

The very next month (April '97), while sitting in a Sunday evening church service, I did the unthinkable. I wrote a note to this man, IN RED CRAYON Y'ALL, telling him that I was not in the frame of mind to be dating and broke things off with him.

I broke up with the man, during church, through a note, written in RED CRAYON.

I am the picture of class, let me tell you.

What happened next? Did we get back together? Did he fall to pieces? Did I go insane, writing bad poetry about broken love in red crayon all over the walls of my house?

Well, you will have to come back later today to find out.

It is nothing if not a thrilling tale.

New Challies Drawing With A GREAT Prize!

Challies has another great drawing up for grabs right now and I wanted to pass it along to y'all.



First prize are these great family friendly DVDs:

-Still Standing: The Stonewall Jackson Story
-Inherit the Land: Adventures on the Agrarian Journey
-The Eden String Quartet: A Bountiful Blessing
-A Journey Home
-The Peasall Sisters: Family Harmony

Second prize is:

-Still Standing: The Stonewall Jackson Story
-Inherit the Land: Adventures on the Agrarian Journey

Third prize is:

-Still Standing: The Stonewall Jackson Story

May I just say that Franklin Springs Family Media puts out some GREAT stuff where these DVDs are concerned. We have purchased and seen Inherit the Land: Adventures on the Agrarian Journey and we absolutely loved it. It inspired us even more for our family vision to move to some land of our own and teach our children the value of hard work and depending on God for His blessings.

We have ordered and are waiting on The Eden String Quartet: A Bountiful Blessing. I am in a dither waiting for this DVD to arrive! My musical genes are all a twitter with anticipation!

So please click on the button above and you will be able to enter. By clicking the button on my blog it gives me more opportunities to win as well. This will benefit you in the long run too. How, you ask?

If I win first or second prize I will put the Inherit the Land video up on my blog for my own little bloggy drawing. So, you get a second chance with much better odds! Woo-hoo!

I am nothing in not generous to my interweb bloggy friends, people.

So go now. Ride like the wind. Click the button. Let's win us some great family friendly DVDs!!

And people. Don't make me beg. I really like these DVDs.

Time To Lighten the Mood

Well, I did it. I scared people away with the television stuff. I kid you not. My stats for my sight have dropped BY HALF!

Oh well. I knew the job was dangerous when I took it. Should I only post fluffy things that make people happy? Or post the occasional controversial piece to try and make others think about some things?

Monk says people are bored with the t.v. and it's time to move one. But I only have one more post about it....sniff..sniff.

At any rate, what's done is done and there's not much I can do about it now.

OH WAIT!! Yes, there is ! I can post pictures of Cinnamon rolls! And cute babies! And cooking fiascos! Everybody loves a good cinnamon roll, cute baby and cooking fiasco! And the mood can be light and happy once again!

So, here we go:















Oh look! A yummy pan of delicious cinnamon rolls!
With PINK frosting!















Come here beautiful...Momma wants a bite!
(Aren't my paper plates so avant-garde?)















Since I can't have cinnamon rolls - I'll just chew on the side of my Co-Sleeper.















And finally, this would be what happens to chicken breasts when left on the grill for um...about and hour. I like to call them Cajun Style. Ironically, do y'all know why I left them on the grill so long?

I was watching television.

Television Talk - The Next Installment Part IV

It's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaccccckkkkk! I bet y'all are just begging for me to talk about cinnamon rolls and not the television, huh?

Too bad.

I started this Bad Boy and now I must finish it. But I will trickle in some pictures of food and such because I did make more cinnamon rolls this past Saturday and y'all know what I did?

I made pink icing! I did! It was so cute! You are fraught with excitement, are you not?

Alright, time to get back to the good stuff, so here we go.

6. Infinite amounts of mindless drivel.

5. Infinite amounts of inappropriate, s*xual content.

Yes, I'm doing two together. Honestly, I don't know how anyone can argue against either one of these points. However, I do realize that "mindless drivel" is subjective and what one might consider okay, another would not. I also realize that there are shows out there (few and far between) that are fairly harmless. Most of these shows are not your regular network television sitcoms and dramas which are the ones that I have HUGE issues with where Christians are involved. So, I'll skip my subjective opinions on mindless drivel and skip right to #5.

Network television sitcoms are ripe with blasphemy, s*xual content and a laundry list of other inappropriate content that NO Christian should even consider watching. Two years ago I probably didn't feel this way. In the process of my own sanctification I began examing my life and looking for sinful areas. This is where I found them. This verse would play over and over in my head while I was watching "my shows".

Phi 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

I went to Scripture and that is what I found. How could I watch certain shows while asking myself, "is this pure thinking? Is this lovely?". I just couldn't justify it any longer. Then there was this:

2Ti 2:21 Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work. 2Ti 2:22 So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.

I loved mysteries, crime shows, reality shows and comedies. Unfortunately, these were the ones that seemed to be the most offensive, especially in the area of s*xual content. I wanted God to use me, to be a vessel for His honorable use. So, I let them go.

So am I perfect or "holier than thou" because I chose to let "my shows" go? Have mercy, no! Trust me, there are plenty of other areas in my life that I need to look at and examine more closely, this was just my personal story on the television. Again, I'm not attempting to judge anyone, just asking folks to think is all.

I've said it before and I will say it again - television is a slippery slope. When we begin having to justify why we watch something or we find ourselves saying oh, it's really not that bad - this is when we should really begin to examine what we are viewing. If we will consistently hold ourselves to a Biblical standard then I think many of us would reconsider what we put into our minds.

I probably mislabeled #5. It should have listed more than just s*xual innuendo. There are plenty of other inappropriate reasons for questioning our viewing options.

4. My children become deaf and dumb when watching.

This is definitely a personal reason. If you're scratching your head because you don't remember what I said about children and television, then please go here. This should clear things up nicely for you.

When my children are hypnotized by the big black box of death, they hear nothing. Their responses become a cross between low grunts and frantic muttering. How dare I, their mother, interrupt their viewing enjoyment. This just screams addiction. Not to mention their obedience goes out the window. How can one obey mom when they must catch the end of their show?!

Can anyone remember the 5th commandment? It's the first one with a promise.

I can promise y'all this - when kids get in front of the television they will stop obeying the first time. I know this first hand. And it sends me to the moon! It's hard enough to train my children to listen to me when they're not distracted, much less having to compete with some superhero gerbil.

I do understand this is another subjective area, so please, not too many tomatoes!

Ahhhhhhh, a big sigh out as we have only 3 more points to go!! Woo-hoo!

Can you all bear with me through 3 more points? Have I offended to no end? Have I made anyone think differently yet? Am I totally off my rocker (okay, well that's status quo, so maybe I should rephrase that one!)? Keep the chatter going - it's good for all of us!

p.s If this post seems a little disjointed, it is. Please forgive my lack of thorough, well thought out points. My brain is mush and I'm trying to catch up on some sleep.

It's Coming, I Promise

My television post is coming. My weekend has been fraught with cookie making, chicken burning and children with 101+ fevers.

Excitement abounds.

Anyhoo, most of my post is done, but I need to add a few things lest I be accused of weak arguements. ;)

Come back later. And if it's still not posted then you can assume....I'm lame I guess. I'll get it posted eventually. At least after my chiropractor appointment.

I love my chiropractor. She cracks me up (and down and all around!).

I am nothing if not hilarious, I know.

Bueno Not So Bueno

*Note: New edit at the bottom*

No, this is not a television post. I bet y'all are breathing a collective sigh of relief, huh? Do not fret though because they will return on Monday.

No. I'm taking a break from my 10 Reasons I Hate the Television because I have not been well today. No, I have not.

Last night after leaving church, we decided to make a quick stop at the Taco Bueno. And just so y'all know, I love me some Taco Bueno. Madgirl got a MexiDip and Chips, Monk got some Chicken Quesadillas, Little Girls got Chips and Queso and me? Well, I wanted some Party Tacos and a Party Burrito. (Party meaning smaller than a regular size). I ate two Party Tacos and one Party Burrito. After eating, I promptly took my 150mg of Zantac like I normally do every evening along with my Fish Oil supplements and other vitamins. Because after all, I am nothing if not a health conscious individual. Except for the Party Tacos and Party Burrito.

Oh yea, and the Cinnamon Rolls.

Anyhoo, during the middle of the night while nursing the Baby Girl, I didn't feel so great. Well, I attributed it to the fact that I had stayed up way too late expounding on my T.V. philosophies. I still managed to go back to sleep.

Well.

When I awoke this morning I REALLY didn't feel so hot. I took Baby Girl to Monk and pretty much figured things were going to go down hill from there. I will spare you the ugly details of what occurred first, but for a very long time I lay on my bed begging God to NOT LET ME THROW UP! And also worrying if I had contracted some deadly form of E. Coli.

I HATE throwing up, y'all. With every fiber in my being I HATE to throw up. This comes from the woman who if it weren't for the miracle of modern medicine would barf her guts out the entire time she is pregnant. Which I am not, so don't even go there.

Anyway, after feeling VERY vomitous for about and hour it seemed to settle down a little. I had a headache and just felt kinda gross after that. Needless to say, not much was accomplished around here today and I'm convinced it was because of the evil Bueno Tacos.

So, while I feel kind of...eh, I'm just gonna take a Friday bloggy break. And now that once again, I have rambled on and managed to turn something short and sweet into something long, drawn out and torturous, I will now shut-up and go crawl under my covers next to my Baby Girl. And my Monk.

Have a nice weekend.

Oh yea, and turn off the tube and do something different for a change. ;)

*I just want to let y'all know that my hubby has an AWESOME post over on his blog today ~ go read it HERE! :)