Thursday, December 29, 2005

Doggone Funny!

This is our dog Sam. He is a Great Pyrenees. He is also a Great Oaf! Sam has a problem with barking. He likes to bark at everything, but oxygen seems to be his favorite.

This past week Sam was supposed to go live with some people that lived on 5 acres, but that fell through. He was then supposed to go live with my uncle in Tennessee who lives on a couple of acres, but that fell through as well. So, Sam is stuck with us in Suburbia for the time being. Unfortunately, Sam's barking issue has to be corrected. How, you ask? Simple. A barking collar. My uncle, who felt bad for not being able to take Sam, gave us $50 towards a bark collar.

For those of you who've never perused the barking collar section of PetsMart, my advice would be --don't own a dog who barks too much. Bark collars are E-X-P-E-N-S-I-V-E! We spent $50 and got the cheapest one in the store. The good ones were between $119 and $175 dollars! Whoa.

Anyway, the way this particular collar works is that when the dog barks, the vibration from the vocal chords causes the collar to send a mild electric shock to the dog's neck. Neat-o, huh? The Mad Monk, who has not felt well for the last few days, is in charge of all electronics in our home. He messed with the collar for a little while yesterday and then decided to wait until he felt better to really finish the task. So, this morning he took on the dog collar.

The directions explain that upon putting the battery into the electronic box you can test it by running it across something rough. If it beeps while doing this, then it is ready to use. The original problem was that the beeping was not occurring. So, hubby fiddled with the battery some more today and finally got the silly thing to beep after running it across the carpet. I was very much relieved that we could now get this collar on our Great Barking Menace.

Interestingly enough, this was not a sufficient enough test for The Mad Monk. Being an intellectual man, he requires deep thought and adequate research in order to make logical conclusions. Apparently, upon being gifted with the lion's share of intelligence, he was not blessed with simple common sense. This is evidenced by the fact that no sooner did he discover that the device worked that he proceeded to put the collar up to his throat and bark!

ZAP!! Apparently the electric shock is activated by human vocal chords as well because The Mad Monk yelped in pain while grasping his neck! Being the concerned and supportive wife that I am I attempted to muffle my laughter. Unfortunately, my attempts failed and not only did I laugh, but I snorted as well! For fifteen minutes! I then proceeded to call any family member who would listen and retell the tale with enthusiasm!

Fear not, The Mad Monk is well and thriving. The only battle scars he carries are the ones affecting his pride. Actually, he has laughed heartily about the whole thing all day as well. He knew instantly that he was fair game for blog fodder and actually blogged about it himself before I could get to my computer.

Just one more reason to love my man! Posted by Picasa


/tim said...

HA! I love it! Posted a link from my blog. Thanks for the laugh. I can see it now...

/tim said...

Whoops. Forgot the link...