Thursday, February 14, 2008

Me and Monk: A Love Story Part II

If you're just now coming in on the rapturous story of our love...please go here to begin.

And so our story continues...

Using red crayon as my pen, I unexpectedly ended our relationship. Monk's love was not hampered though. He gave me the space I needed (but truly didn't know if I wanted), yet knew in his heart of hearts that I would come back to him. After all, we did go to church together now and there was no way I could get around seeing him. Folks in the church were somewhat surprised as well. They were secretly rooting that I would rescue him from bachelorhood and a lifetime of bad fashion choices.

My mother on the other hand...well, I think "happy dance" would best describe how she felt. She had one word for Monk.


I jest not. That's what she called him. You see, she had moved in with me after my divorce to help me financially. It was not a good arrangement. There are people you love and people you live with and sometimes you just can't do both. This was one of those arrangements. She didn't like the fact that:

1. I was dating Monk
2. I was dating Monk

She just didn't like him. She was suspicious of his carefree, debt-free lifestyle. But mostly she just didn't like his glasses. Yea, they were the thick kind. The kind that one must travel to the Hubble Telescope in order to cut the glass for them.

So, while I broke things off, I didn't stop seeing him. And after time we were back on as a couple. I'm telling you, the man needs a Nobel Peace Prize for continuing to stay with me despite my wishy-washy weird ways. By this time I had stopped going to the same church because I needed space and time to forgive my ex-husband. While I can't say what I did was right, it helped me tremendously. I began working through some forgiveness and was putting my depression behind me. And then July came.

It was the beginning of July and Monk was fixin' to leave for church camp. One night we were sitting in my car outside of his apartment (because I didn't go into his apartment - for moral reasons and the fact that it was a certifiable bachelor pad with the pizza boxes to prove it) just talking. I don't even remember what we were talking about, but something I said triggered Monk to correct me (surprise, surprise for those that know him). He called me out on something biblically and it ticked - me - off! I would try and justify what I was saying and he would ask me where I found that in the Bible. Needless to say, I couldn't answer him (because my attitude/view was not biblical and he was right and I knew it) and it made me furious! I told him so and then proceeded to tell him that I thought we didn't need to see each other anymore. How is that for mature?

So, off he went to church camp, expecting my ire to have cooled off by the time he returned.

It had not.

I wouldn't speak to him or answer his phone calls. He sent me a card for my birthday and I didn't respond. He sent my children cards to let them know he was thinking about them and I acknowledged nothing. Nada. Zilch. For weeks I acted as if he didn't exist.

This hurt him deeply as he knew I was the one for him and he thought he had lost me. When he would think of me he would play Gershwin's "You Can't Take That Away From Me". He comforted himself with this scripture and prayed this scripture to God:
Psa 37:4 Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

Two things happened in those six weeks. My depression lifted and I forgave my ex-husband completely. The bitterness and hurt that had saddled me left and I felt as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I was a different person. My mom had moved out and the stress of that situation was gone as well. Life was good, except I didn't have Monk to make me laugh.

Then on August 12th, six weeks after I had broke things off, I called him. It was his birthday and I just couldn't let it pass without acknowledging him. I could tell he was shocked and elated to hear from me. I wasn't even very pleasant to him on the phone. I told him the kids wanted to do something with him because it was his birthday.

Boy, was I shocked when I saw him. Gone were the thick glasses, replaced with some much smaller frames and thinner lenses. He had even bought new clothes. All for me. I know how shallow this makes me sound, but the fact that he loved me enough to go to the trouble of getting new glasses and clothes to impress me really astounded me. My ice-woman attitude melted and I found myself wanting to be with him. When I asked him if he thought we were over for good he responded with a firm, No. He then told me of the scripture that he read and claimed about me. This touched me deeply.

Not too long after that we were out one night and decided to head to Sonic for some Foot Long Chili Cheese Dogs. We are nothing if not some classy folks, let me tell you. This is when we started to talk about marriage. We started planning a future together that night in the Sonic Drive-In. So romantical, I know.

Monk never officially proposed - we just sort of agreed we needed to get married. By December of 1997 we made it official and set a date. While God had truly given me peace about my previous marriage I was still a little scared of a second go round. What if Monk left me too? He reassured me time and time again that he would never do that.

Finally, on June 27, 1998, we made a vow to one another before God to stay married until death do us part. My 6 year old Boy gave me away. Monk made vows to my children on bended knee and there wasn't a dry eye in the church. We then went on an excellent honeymoon to where else?

Disney World!

It only seemed appropriate since it was a phone call from Disney World that started the whole thing. And we took the kids with us. And we bought lots of Tigger stuff.

This June will be 10 years of marriage for us. There have been some very trying, very lean times in those ten years. We never turned on each other, but rather turned to each other. We leaned on one another and trusted God to take care of us and our love has done nothing but grown stronger. I no longer feel as if God had forsaken me in the area of marriage. He had a bigger plan the whole time. A better plan. A plan that I could not have dreamed of in a thousand lifetimes.

Monk is my best friend, my soul mate and my Beloved. I'm honored to be his wife.

Even if he is a weirdo.


Shelly said...

That was very sweet! Got a little choked up about Boy giving you away! So sweet! Ya know y'all will be celebrating your 10 year anniversary just 6 days after we celebrate our 5 year anniversary! Where has the time gone?!

mindi said...

That is so sweet - another 1998 wedding! I'm so glad you found each other. Congrats on the ten years, and here's to many more after that :D

MamaWest said...

Thanks for sharing this Michelle. I believe the Lord sent me here today for encouragement. He is SO good!