Not Me Monday ~ Monk Style

This week I'm participating in Not Me Monday over at Mckmama's blog. I'm having a hard time doing this because I would absolutely never admit to anything stupid or foolish that I've done during the week on such a public forum as my blog. Not Me. Ever.


Ahem.


I would also never admit that I denied 6 year old Liv a piece of my chocolate this week because she wouldn't let me pull the front tooth that had been hanging there for the past week. Then, when she succumbed to my pressure and finally let me try and pull it and then it wouldn't budge and I made her cry did I offer her many pieces of chocolate as a peace offering for my futility. I would never do such a thing because that would be bribery in parenting and I am not that sort of parent. Definitely Not Me.


I also did NOT tell her that the Tooth Fairy didn't come because I had stayed up too late and so she must have passed by our house. Then I most definitely did not give her two bucks for the tooth just so she wouldn't try to put it under her pillow again. Ha! Such a bad parent that would be! That is so Not Me!


And while Hope was once again attempting to drink from the dog water this week did I sit idley by and let her do it because I knew I had just rinsed the bowl and put fresh water down. I would never do such an appalling and disgusting thing! Not me, EVER!


(Just so you know, she only got a few sips in before I eventually stopped her...)


I certainly didn't wear the sweatpants I wore on Wednesday to bed that night and then again to a chiropractor's appointment the next morning. Wearing sweatpants in public is bad enough let alone DAY OLD DIRTY sweatpants. I would never even consider such a thing! Not me!


And above all, I would NEVER take Charlotte from Grace because she was fussy and attempt to smell her backside WHILE I was looking at the computer screen only to realize upon feeling something wet on my lip (OH, YES!!), that I had, in fact, given myself a poo-poo mustache. Because we all know that baby poo on one's upper lip would be one of the most vile, disgusting and certainly inappropriate things to EVER post on one's blog and I am WAY too classy to admit to something like that on MY blog!! Most definitely NOT ME!


If you're interested in finding about what more people did NOT do this past week, just hop on over to Mckmama's Carnival today and have a great time realizing that you're not such a bad person after all.


Actually, you've probably already realized that just from reading my blog. But I'm not laughing about it because I would NEVER do that.


Not me. ::snort::

Hold On to Yer Panties Folks! We're Goin' for a Ride on the Bi-Polar Express

Oh. My. Word. I'm at it again.


Contemplating, pondering, deciding, worrying. You know....thinking. It's one of those things I don't do often, but boy howdy, when I do you'd better watch out! Somebody could get hurt.


I'm in one of those pickles of life (you know what a pickle is, don't ya? The in betweens..) and just trying to make decisions is making my brain hurt. Or perhaps explode. Not that it would matter anyway because at the moment it is pretty much mush. I need the contemplating, pondering, deciding and worrying to stop. In general, I just don't wanna have to think.


Just ask Monk, I'm not a good decision maker. I can't even decide between Ding Dongs and Twinkies most days, much less the Big Things of life. Okay, Ding Dongs. That was a bad example.

SEE!

So what am I contemplating, pondering, deciding and worrying about? Would you like the exhaustive list or just the highlights? Yea. That's what I thought.


1. This blog
2. Homeschooling
3. My hair color
4. The state of my house
5. My age
6. Deep spiritual thoughts and questions
7. Photoshop
8. The economy (not really, it just makes me sound sorta smart)
9. Computer time
10. Food in general and its affect on my Mommy Muffin


The whole blog thing has me in a dither because I keep wondering if I should keep it going. I absolutely LOVE to write and I intended for this to be an online journal for my children or grandchildren (Lord, help me) some day so they could see just what a crazy old lady I truly was/am/is/are.


Now, I wish I could say that there was some sort of collective air suckage out there that occurred upon the mention of me possibly giving up the whole blog adventure. But...I know better. Honestly, I could slip quietly away from blogdom and it really wouldn't matter a whole heck of a lot. If I were, say Boomama, there might be a small coup with much wailing and gnashing of teeth. Quite possibly an intervention from President Obama, himself. Or Paula Deen. But me? Not so much.


But. (Have y'all ever heard the saying "Everything before the but(t) is bologna"?) Well.


I love to write. Plain and simple. It's my outlet and these days, trust me, I need (NEED!) an outlet. I just need to quit putting so much emphasis on what people are thinking. Stop trying to be validated through my blog, you know? If I feel compelled to share the story of breast milk squirting onto my computer screen and keyboard while nursing Charlotte (gives a whole new meaning to surfing the web, I assure you!), then I need to go with it. It's Who. I. Am.


It took a long time for me to be able to realize that it was okay to just be me on this blog. I looked around, saw what others were doing and tried to imitate it. Not me. Didn't work. Now I'm comfortable in my own skin (just wish it were size 8 skin), but I still worry about what others think or if I've offended someone or if my grammar is correct


( I really do worry about grammar, y'all. I am not making that up. And my grammar is off quite a bit. I truly don't know how I ever passed Mr. Farrah's 12th grade AP English class.)


Anyway, that's where I am. Did you get off the Bi-Polar Express at the last stop? Obviously not if you're still reading. You shoulda stopped at the title, I'm tellin' ya.


Look there, I didn't even cover numbers 2-6. Actually, #3 is being taken care of this morning. I've called Marinelle (Mary -Nell...isn't that adorable?) and she will be performing her Hair Coloring Genius on me at 10 am. Before y'all have even had your third cup of coffee. Pictures to come. (Do you suppose it to be a bad thing to get a cut and color on Friday the 13th??)


I guess I'll have to save the other Great Ponderings 'o Life for another post. Too bad, huh? ::snort!::


(Welp, technically I've touched on #9 because I'm up at midnight writing this thing!)


But for now? I blog.


Y'all have a great weekend!

'Nuf Said

The Photographic One

I would never want anyone to think that I prefer one child over another because I don't. Ever. Especially when one is throwing a screaming fit. Because I can assure you that I am the picture of patience when that is happening.

ahem.

However, when it comes to photogenic ability, my Grace really stands above the rest.

There is just something so pure and natural about her face and her expressions that it's a true joy to actually photograph her. I don't even tell her what to do most of the time. She just does what she does. And she do it well!

While on our little camping adventure I took advantage of the great scenery. I love old barns and houses anyway and this was my kind of place. Throw Grace in the mix and I so loved some of the pictures I came home with.

She was telling me a story and I just started snapping pictures.

We found this old chair back behind the little cabin house. A late 60's, early 70's discard, but oh, the personality it held.

While she naturally has some amazing blue eyes, if I could ever figure out how to use stupid Photoshop Elements I could really have some fun with her eyes. ::sigh:: Somebody help me grow a brain, please!! But I'm not bitter.

Unfortunately, Blogger (or my nincompoopishness) doesn't make the pictures as large as I would have liked. Her eyes are really stunning in this one, but you can't see them.

Ah. Love this pretty girl. Hopefully she'll never tire of me snapping beautiful pictures of her.

We Went Camping! Sort of.

I don't think that I've ever mentioned here before that I've never been camping. I went once when I was 14, but I'm not sure if you could technically call it camping as there was electricity everywhere, nice showers, flushing toilets....the term "roughing it" does not come to mind when I think of that particular trip.



This past weekend, however, a group of my peoples loaded up and headed over an hour a way to our friend's property. This was a Friday thru Sunday excursion. Now before y'all think that I am some Survivorman wannabe, let me clarify something.



We went on Saturday from about 1 pm until 6 pm.



Yes siree, we camped for 5 solid hours! I KNOW! Y'all are impressed, aren't you! I was too!

Actually, while I..uh.. Monk..uh..the girls would have looooved to have stayed the night, Monk and I decided to take it for a test run before making any commitments, you know? I mean it's one thing to nurse a baby in the comfort of your own bed when the temperature is a comfortable 68 degrees in the house. It's a whole 'nother thing to nurse a baby in the middle of 400 acres, in a tent, on an air mattress with the temperature in the low 40's. Her milk is still the same temperature regardless. Unfortunately for me, there is a certain amount of, um, exposure I will not endure no matter how much I love that girl. 'Nuf said
already.

I'm also relatively sure that the other folks in our group didn't want to be awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning with the sounds of Hope screaming things like "PACI!" or "CUH!" (cup). And I'm fairly certain that Grace and Liv, otherwise known as the "Tinkle Twins", would not have appreciated midnight excursions to the outhouse in 40 degree weather.

So to prove that we roughed it in the Great Outdoors for all of 300 minutes I took pictures. Lots of them. But for y'all, just a little smattering of what we did for 18,000 seconds.

(By the way, if the math is wrong on that just keep it to yourselves, okay? I never professed to do math. It sounded right so I put it down. Leave it alone.)

A bonafide campfire. It cooked food, kept us warm and nearly choked us because of the wind. I even put wood on it!

And official tire swing, or "whang", if you are our dear, sweet, little Hope. She love this thang!

Liv was pretty fond of the thing, too. I was hoping that somehow it could've knocked out her dangling front tooth. No such luck and Snaggletooth is still roaming around the house with that thing in!

Daddy lovin' on that baby girl. That baby girl did NOT like her first camping trip. The wind was very windy (I am profound, am I not?) that day and it made for one very unhappy baby. Later that night I found soot in her ear. Look, tents!

Sis loved hanging from this thing. That is until she found out it was for hanging dead animals on to weigh and gut them. It lost its appeal after that little tidbit of information. Ah, those city girls.

This is only a small, very small example of the dirt that was on this child that day. We were there for 5 hours! I could not even imagine what these children would have looked like after 48 hours.

And my favoritest picture of all...Monk coming out of the outhouse. See, we really did rough it!

Okay, so maybe it wasn't real camping since we didn't stay all night, but it was training for when we do go for real, right?

And honestly, I don't mind nature near as much as I thought I would.

Well, except for the dirt. The dirt was just....dirty.

Bald is Beautiful!

My two favorite baldies...

Milk and Bread ~ for My New Restaurant

After a great Care Group meeting at our home last night, Monk and I realized rather late that we didn't have much milk. With this group of unruly hooligans little girls we knew we would have to have some milk by morning or the chances of a throwdown at the breakfast table would be almost certain.

(Unfortunately, they are addicted to cold cereal. A bad habit started early on that has been impossible to break)

So this morning I was at Kroger by 8:30 am. An amazing accomplishment for me these days. I needed 2 (TWO!!) items: milk and cat food. The cat's gotta eat too, ya know.

I walk in and grab a cart because I know me and I know better than to NOT get a cart. I immediately remember that we are low on fruit so I go and grab some basics: organic bananas, green grapes and a bag of apples. Good thing I grabbed the cart.

Madgirl had expressed a desire for a certain type of bakery roll to make some sandwiches for her lunch, so I pick up a bag of rolls. My memory is then jogged that I needed some Ezekiel bread, so I go and grab a loaf of that. No milk OR catfood at this point.

After a few other odds and ends and grabbing the bag of cat food I finally make it to the milk case. I grabbed two gallons of milk. I should have walked away at this point, but as usual, I did not. Since I can eat dairy and chocolate again (in small amounts and yes, I forgot to post about it ~ just know that I can, okay?), for some unknown reason I've been craving those two things together ~ in the form of chocolate milk. So I grab quart of chocolate milk.

(at this point I will NOT admit that right there in the middle of the dairy aisle at Kroger I proceeded to open up that puppy and take a GIANT swig!)

Then I remember the Lemon Poppyseed muffins I want to make require buttermilk, so I grab some buttermilk. Then I spied some 1/2 gallons of milk marked down to 75 cents a 1/2 gallon (I KNOW!) and I grabbed two of those, which in hindsight I realize I should have grabbed about four to six! I blame my lack of judgement on the fact that the only thing in my system at this point was the chocolate milk that I had just thrown down and I must have been in some sugar rush stupor! That or I'm just dumb. Both are a viable possibility.

At that moment I turn around to leave only to see the bakery lady FILLING the day old bread cart. Well, my natural Carbohydrate Loving Fat Cells can smell the gluten, thereby taking over my body in some Exorcist sort of fashion, forcing me against my will, to go look upon the unnatural white bread goodness bad stuff. Y'all remember the last time I went to the bakery store, don't you??

Well, my head starts to spin and I start grabbing sub rolls marked down to 79 cents so I can make meatballs subs! Then I grab the wheat rolls for sandwiches! And just about the time I start trying to chuck 4 packs of cinnamon rolls into my cart I had a Supernatural Healing and was released from my Carbohydrate Bondage! That and the bakery lady was looking at me all weird like.

I'm now starting to think it may have been my chocolate milk mustache.

Anyway at this point my cart contains:

- 2 gallons of milk
- 2 1/2 gallons of milk
- 1 quart of buttermilk
- 1 quart of open chocolate milk

- 1 bag of bakery rolls
- 1 loaf of Ezekiel bread ( because I WILL be healthy!)
- 2 bags of sub rolls
- 1 bag of wheat rolls
- 1 package of Tostada shells

refried beans, taco sauce, catfood, natural deodorant and fruit

I proceed to the checkout where...no lie...the cashier asks,

"Do you run a restaurant?"

Me: "Huh?"

Her: "Do you run a restaurant?" (nodding her head towards the bread and milk)

Me: Long pause....

Me: "Uh...Nope. We're just pigs."

Conversation over. Apparently her Stupid Question quota for the day had been met.

And I left with my milk and bread to go home to my restaurant family.

Found Some Green at the Goodwill

I haven't shopped at Goodwill much lately because I have come to believe that they think they are some sort of subsidiary of Neiman Marcus. In other words, they think a little too much of their junk.

I just can't justify paying $3 and $4 for a child's shirt at Goodwill when for a $1 more I can buy a brand new one at Target. That just doesn't make good cents sense to me, my friends.

I also found that more and more, I was finding less and less. Stained and torn clothing is not my idea of thrifty. It's my idea of more work, more of my time and then maybe I can make it work.

(Again, one more reason to shop at Target. And no, I'm not always looking for excuses to go there. Only sometimes.)

Anyway, the other day I scooted into the local Goodwill to buy a gift certificate for someone and my eye spied these little beauties (behind the checkout glass ~ that's where they keep some of the fan-cee stuff). I paused, wondering if they could maybe, possibly be the right size. I asked to see them and was plumb tickled to death to see that yes, they were the perfect size!!

Hope liked the color!
















Monk liked the price!

And Momma just thought they were dang cute!

(started uploading pics directly from Picasa and am STILL having formatting issues....grrrrrrr..)

I Heart Faces ~ Beginners Week...

It wasn't enough for me to announce to Blogdom that I am a Photoshop Boob....complete and total. Nope. Now I had to go and enter a contest.


(By the way, thank-you for all of your nice, encouraging comments...ya'll are too sweet!)

iHeartFaces is having Beginners Week this week and I qualify ~ because of the whole Photoshop Boob thing, you know. Go check them out!

The theme? Messy.

Around these parts that's usally not too hard to find.

Too Much Wigglin' to Be a Baptist

It's Monday morning, I'm grouchy, I'm tired, the painters are coming in an hour and I just don't feel like gettin' my tail moving.


Until this. It took my tired, grouchy, tail and made it smile. So I wanted to share 'cause this little girl is gettin' a little slain people. Of course, it's easy to get slain while listening to a little Selah.

And as usual, Blogger won't embed the actual video so y'all click on the link and go smile a little.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_VknTKQQhw

Photoshop Phailure

So I'm into this whole photography thing. Never in a million years did I think I would enjoy photography. And yet, here I am.

I am hooked. Big time.

And once you are hooked, it becomes an obsession. Everything you once looked at as, "Oh look, I made Pork Fried Rice for dinner", then becomes "OH LOOK! I MADE PORK FRIED RICE FOR DINNER!" And then you photograph it.

I know. Weird.

EVERYTHING is a photo opportunity. And I mean everything.

I bought a fairly nice camera (Nikon D60) in January and have enjoyed learning my way around the camera and more advanced photography. Frankly, I still don't know everything about the camera which is frustrating in and of itself. The flash on this thing has become my enemy and it refuses to turn off on all settings EXCEPT the no flash setting. Grrrr... And finding Nikon users on a blog is next to impossible. As in, none.

I shoulda bought the Canon. ::sigh::

I was also using a free online editing software called Picasa. I have grown to love Picasa and can do pretty cool things from a free, basic software. But Monk, being that amazing guy that he is, told me to go ahead and buy Photoshop Elements (the most basic of the Photoshop software) and learn my way around Photoshop.

I was gonna be FAN-CEE!

Well I did so and OH, WAS I EXCITED to get going on this stuff! I've SEEN what Photoshop can do, my friends and oh, was I stoked about the possibilites. I was excited about layering and opacity and lassoing eyes....you know, Photshop talk.

And then I opened it up. I tried, really I did. I opened this tab and I opened that tab and really tried to do all of the things that I KNOW Photoshop can do. I looked at online tutorials and I googled "lassoing eyes in Photoshop" and guess what I learned to do?

Nothing.

Because apparently I am a Photoshop boob. A complete and total Photoshop nincompoop. And now when I look at other people's Photoshopped pictures I don't get warm and fuzzy all over. I just get mad.

Mad because I have this picture taking addiction and I am a Photshop moron .

But a moron who photographs her Pork Fried Rice well.

It's Hard To Believe...

But she's 3 months old today. Wow. I am so blessed.

The First Ever Target Tuesday...Except On Wednesday

So I'm off to a great start here, huh? I create a special day and then I can't even manage to post on that day! Ah yes my friends, I have my act together.

Anyway. Down to business.

It's Target Tuesday! (except on Wednesday) The first one! Isn't that exciting?!?!?

Some of you are scratching your heads and saying, "huh?". Well let me explain. Since I love and adore all things Target, I decided to devote a special day to it. I haven't decided if it will be every Tuesday or every other Tuesday or even once a month yet, but the point is to share all things Target. This can include purchases, wish lists, favorite parking spots, deals, complaints, exciting stories ~ which by the way shall be called Target Tales ~ and anything else that rings your bell!

Fun, huh? At this point some of y'all are shaking your head and saying, "um..no." Well, that's okay too.

Since I got this off to such a slow start I'm rather backlogged with exciting Target related material to share. I already have TWO Target Tales! But today I'm just gonna show you something I bought and something I totally love and would buy right this second if, you know, Monk wouldn't kill me!

The first is the new bedding I bought for the girl's room. I will eventually get to redoing their room and this bedding is just the inspiration I'm going to need! Of course, my inspiration usually leads to a lot of perspiration...but as long as it's not constipation then I'm good.

It's so bright and colorful! I just love it! The girls are pretty stoked about getting a whole new room too!

And next is a chair I found on line that I totally fell in love with the minute I laid eyes on it! I could SO totally redo my living room around this single piece of furniture...

It comes in the orange or moss green ~ I love both colors, but the orange would be SO much fun! Am I throwing back to the 70's or what?

Anyway, that's my Target ramblings for the week. Any of y'all have anything exciting to share?

(Hey, if enough people are interested we could do one of those Mr Linky things!!! Oooooo, how fun would that be! Of course, I do realize that it will probably be just me blabbering on in my own little world here and that's okay too.)

You're Pregnant Again? Say It Ain't So, Momma!

And I'm not. Really.

That is the winner of our name that photo contest! Vanessa really GOT me giggling with that one! I just knew somebody was going to go after our...um... reproductivity! It was GREAT! Congratulations, Vanessa!!

And the lovely Vanessa is going to get, but what else? A Target gift card from moi! I care enough to give the very best, y'all.

Actually, they were ALL extremely funny!

You people CRACKED. ME. UP. Seriously. There were some major LAUGH. OUT. LOUD moments yesterday!

And thank you to those of you that delurked for me! It was some kind of awesome. I really liked getting all those comments, you know? Makes me feel validated and important in some sorta sick, bloggy way. I hope y'all know that I'm going to "expect" comments more often now! Ha!

Even though I am excluding my family members from the contest, I have to say my husband and my sister absolutely cracked me up!

Monk hit the nail on the head with his comment,

"Not that Taylor Swift song AGAIN"

I have "Our Song" on my iPod and Grace and Liv listen to it incessantly. Almost to the point where I'm ready to remove it. Almost, but not quite.

(Commentor Judy also got in on that one! How'd you know about that song, Judy?! )

Then my sister! Oh my sister! I didn't know she had it in her to be THAT funny much less quoting lines from literary classics like Gone With the Wind. Her line,

"I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow."

Now that there is funny, my friends. (And I'll let you in on a secret. I have never read Gone With the Wind and have never even seen the whole movie. I know.) And then she follows up with her line about the stimulus package. Oh my. I nearly cried.

Let me just say that Mrs. West (aka Cheryl - hey girl!) nearly made me fall off the bed laughing with her line,

"Why is there a dead Pakistani on my couch?!"

Oh girl, that was F-U-N-N-Y!! And smart move trying to hone in one my LOST obsession.

Those of you that used chocolate in your comments were right on target! I just KNEW there was going to be chocolate comments! That was one of my first thoughts too when I saw the picture!

Honestly, the singing comments took me totally by surprise! In a really FUNNY way! Because I do sing around the house all the time. Especially show tunes, so you can imagine what my children think of me!

It got awfully close for the win with The Burke's comment of,

"SHUT UP HARLEY!"

I almost lost my bladder on that one! Seriously. If y'all only knew how many times a day those very words come out of my mouth! I know, bad mother. But if you only knew that dog....

Anyway, that was some serious fun and I got some much needed belly laughing out of a lot of them!

You people are totally funny and my warped sense of humor is SO glad you commented! I might just have to do this again!

Let's Play "Name This Photo", Shall We?

COMMENTS ARE NOW CLOSED! :)

I've never done this sort of thing before, you know. I mean, these sorts of things are usually saved for the "Big Girl" blogs, not my little piddly, pathetic ramblings.




But.





I couldn't help it. The picture screamed for some sort of funny subtitle and I just had to put it up here. All I'm asking is that if you lurk here that you would PUHLEEEEEZE give it a try! Just leave a comment. I promise nothing bad will happen. No one will spam you, no one will telemarket you....nothing. Just press the Leave a Comment button. You can do it. I know you can.





It will be really embarrassing if I get like two comments. One from Monk and one from my sister. You know. I just might have to go into the fetal position and receive chocolate via an I.V bag.





Be good to me my bloggy friends. I mean it. If I get enough entries....I might just throw in a little gift card or something. Cause like I always say, I'm all about the love.





Name this photo...

Crunchy, Nutty Goodness From Crunchy, Nutty Me!

In the spirit of all that is good and crunchy, I want you all to have my wonderfully, rockin' granola recipe. This recipe came about as the culmination of a bunch of other recipes and most importantly, my personal taste! ha!

I think I've already posted this somewhere on my blog, but in true "me" form, I don't have anything labeled or any catergories marked. So. Good luck finding it. Isn't that swell? Even my blog is unorganized. Sheesh.

Feel free to add, subtract and substitute your little hearts out with this recipe. In my humble opinion, granola is a very personal thing. Eat what you like.

Michelle's Crunchy Granola

-12 c. uncooked old fashioned rolled oats

-1 c. shredded coconut

-1 c. whole wheat pastry flour ( I've used plain whole wheat white flour too)

-1 c. sliced almonds (or any other nut for that matter!)

-1/4 c. wheat germ (opt., but not at my house)

-1/4 c. flax seed meal (opt., but not at my house)

-1 1/2 TBS Cinnamon

-1 1/2 tsp salt

-1 c. coconut oil (I'm sure other oils will work too. Olive oil may burn- so be careful)

-1 1/3 c. honey

-1 TBS vanilla

Preheat oven to 300 degrees.

Mix first 8 ingredients (all the dry stuff) in LARGE bowl. Mix coconut oil ( I melt mine first), honey and vanilla. Pour over oat mixture and mix well. I find that after I've stirred it a little with the spoon, my hands do a better job of mixing it well.Spread in a not too thick layer on 2-3 cookie sheets.Bake @ 300 degrees for 45 minutes, stirring every 15 minutes (watch it closely the last few minutes, it can burn quickly!). Let cool and store in airtight container.

And most importantly....enjoy!

This makes the BEST breakfast cereal and since I've been given a milk reprieve (do you hear the angels singing?) by the allergist I took Charlotte to the other day, guess what I've been eating EVERY morning???

Oh yea, you better believe it....GRANOLA!

And while I am not a big fan of the whole yogurt genre of products(it makes my gag reflex turn on me!), I can actually enjoy it and you know, swallow it when I put the granola in it. It's also just a great snack!

So go forth and be crunchy this weekend, my friends. Put on your Birks, go sling your baby, buy something organic and by all means make some granola!

And most importantly, come back and tell me what ya'll think!

Have a GREAT weekend!

Question

Can anyone tell me how it is possible to weigh MORE when one is ELEVEN weeks postpartum than when one is TWO weeks postpartum??

By EIGHT STINKIN' POUNDS no less!!!

First, no chocolate. Now this.

I'm doomed to a life of fatness. And without chocolate.

Somebody pass the celery, please.

Valentine's, Granola and Whathaveyou

So, how was y'alls Valentine's Day? Mine was pretty simple. I made up the kids V-Day bags and had them all lined up pretty just for them. You'll notice there are only 5 bags and not 6. That would be because Charlie's Valentine's gift is attached to my body and I will under no circumstances photograph them. Ahem.

We were invited to the home of some new friends from church and I was in charge of dessert. The kids got heart shaped Rice Krispie treats. The adult dessert was lemon bars. I ate both. Yea, I know....you're not surprised. My jeans sure were this morning.

We had an absolutely lovely dinner (Shrimp was involved. Oh my.) where the adults had an adult meal in a separate room from the kids. How nice, right? Of course, Hope still crawled up in my lap and ate my bread and drank my water and oh yes, even ate some of my noodles. What can I say? I'm here to serve.

I declared yesterday a Vege Day and decided to torture myself by taking the four little girls to the mall. Alone. And no, I am NOT on drugs. Apparently I only act that way sometimes. I even tried on jeans while we were there.

(My Mommy Muffin appears to baking over the tops of my jeans faster than I can buy new ones. I'm not understanding why I am gaining weight while nursing this time as opposed to LOSING!! My new nickname is going to become Junk in the Trunk Monk if my behind doesn't stop trying to store fat for the winter!)

Thankfully, Charlie slept the ENTIRE time (have I mentioned she's a good baby??) and there were no major meltdowns. I did however endure three different conversations that went like this:

Stranger: (staring)

Me: (smiling)

Stranger: Wow, you have FOUR little girls?

Me: Actually I have five.

Stranger: (mouth agape) Reeeaallly?

Grace: And we have a brother!!!!

Me: (shooting Grace the evil eye)

Stranger: (almost horror struck) SIX?

Me: Yep.

Stranger: (mulitple responses, but mostly nice today. That is a switch, I assure you.)

But one Hispanic woman cracked me up totally today! She commented on the four and then when I told her I actually had FIVE girls her eyes became huge and in her thick Spanish accent she said:

"Oh! Yore poor huspand! I don know how he doos it. All dose gir-uls. Mine woood go cah-razy!"

He does lady. He does.

After I came home and recovered some I decide to make some granola. I haven't made any since Charlotte was born and it sounded SO good to me.

Does anyone else's kitchen look like this after they cook? And am I the only one who leaves the mess for the next morning? I know. Stupid, huh?

But, oh the finished product is SO good in yogurt (which I can't have), or as cereal (which I can't have) or throw some chocolate candies in for some trail mix (which I can't have!). Why did I make this again?

Today was supposed to be ther first day of Target Tuesdays as well. I still may put the post up, but it will depend on the how the day goes. It may end up being Target Tuesday on Wednesday.

I can do that you know because it's my blog.

Or it may not be anything because if my suspicions are correct, this little girl could be the next in line for a certain stomach virus whose remains still lie on my front lawn from the last little girl who had it.

She's been sleeping with a bucket if that tells you anything.

p.s. When I went back into blogger today, amazingly the formatting wasn't doing the same crazy stuff it was doing last night. But as you can tell from this line - it is not normal. I kept typing this line BELOW Grace's picture and blogger keeps putting it next to it. SO frustrating. {{Sigh}}

Blogger Rant

Is anyone else having a problem with formatting their posts on blogger????

My posts and pictures have been SO jacked up lately that it is getting on my nerves!! I write a nice post and have everything arranged so neatly and hit SAVE. Then when I go to publish or preview it - it's mangled beyond repair! And then it won't let me fix it!!!!


GAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

It only happens when pictures are involved too! I export them on my Picasa editing software, does anyone know if that's the problem???


Blogger people, if you are reading ----------- I'm hating on you people and your program right about now!!!!!!


Wow. That made me feel a little better. I'm not usually one to have outbursts of anger like that. I guess that shows one thing:

Don't get between a woman and her pictures.

Hopefully, I can figure this out later and have my post up by the afternoon. Until then feel free to give me you input or talk amongst yourselves.

G'head.

Be random. I do it all the time. Just ask Monk.

Just a Slingin'

So who knew that Charlotte wasn't the only one who enjoyed hanging out in the Mei Tei with me.

Sweetie Hope was needing a little extra Momma Time so she got slung. And she liked it so much she went to sleep in about 10 minutes! Who knew?

(And as you can tell, I was soooo stylish in my sweats and t-shirt! I am nothing if not a fashion icon.)

Updates and Upchucks

I apologize for not updating sooner y'all. Today has been chocked with busyness!

I had to make the weekly pilgrimage to Target to buy groceries with 3 kiddos in tow (Grace and the two babies) I was determined to stay on task while I was there and not to get sidetracked by lipstick and other such frivolity.

I will have you know that I succeeded too! I did not try on even ONE pair of shoes! Not one! I didn't even go near the shoe department! It was a shining moment in my Target addiction, I can assure you.

I did, however, buy some lipstick. A girl's gotta be pretty!

I then picked up the Madgirl from school and proceeded to go and buy our hospitalized friend and her mama some dinner from Chili's and a Cinnabon for dessert. After delivering that to the hospital we came home where I proceeded to sit on the couch and stare into oblivion while the brain cells oozed from my head.

As for an update on Elisabeth, it gets a wee bit complicated. Her official diagnosis is Mycoplasma Pneumonia and some other complicated words that I can't spell. Her pain is now under control and she actually managed to eat yesterday for the first time in 6 days. Woo-hoo. Her blood pressure has been VERY low which has caused her to pass out multiple times. They've upped her I.V. fluids and the bp seems to be getting better for now. She had a new symptom develop earlier today which was a rash on her body. They have now taken even more blood and even have an infectious disease doctor on the case. My friend tells me that she (Elisabeth) is now quite the interesting case at the Children's Hospital. ;)

They still covet your prayers as there seems to be no end in sight yet of when they are going to release her. And a new prayer request would be for my friend's son as well. Her 14 year old son, Drew has been running fever now for a few days and he is going to the doc in the morning. Her hubby has been home with him during this time and they are really hoping and praying he doesn't have the same thing.

Thank you all for your prayers!! It means so much to them (and me!) to know that you care enough to ask for updates.

'Course, I knew y'all we awesome all along!

And as far as our family goes....there seems to be no end in sight just yet.

Madgirl has managed to overcome her flu after hibernating in her room for 3 days and actually went back to Germ Central school today. She's feeling MUCH better.

I was the only one to get somewhat of a cold and am still fighting a sore throat and feeling run down, but I don't think it will turn into anything full blown. Already being a little run down from lack of sleep has been my worst enemy and I'm trying to get to bed earlier, but not always succeeding. My night owliness habits are biting me in the bootey to say the least!

Poor, sweet Liv, however, has been bit again. She hasn't felt great for the past 3 days. A little nauseated and not quite her spunky little self. Her stomach pain has been manageable until tonight.

Her tummy began hurting so bad that we loaded her up into Phil the Suburban and started to head to the emergency room. Just as we were about to back out of the driveway, she coughed. My Mommy Instinct Super Powers kicked in and I jumped out of the Burb and flung open the back door! She coughed again and I yanked gently pulled her from the vehicle where she proceeded to grace our front yard with some rather unsightly regurgitation.

I tried moving her towards the front door, but to no avail. She began hurling again, this time in a different spot. I don't want to make light of the situation because the poor baby was practically throwing up her toenails....BUT I couldn't help but get a little tickled at what the people driving by in their cars must be thinking.

Here I stood, spread eagle, in my front yard, holding this flailing 6 year old as she was heaving in various spots all over the lawn. It was enough to make'em say, "Ewwwwww!". I can guarantee that much.

Needless to say now we are all just sitting and waiting for our turn cause it WILL get us. It always does. These are the times when we have to stop and pause to ask ourselves the all important question:

"If I eat this, am I willing to throw it up?"

'Nuf said.

Oh yea, and if you're in my neck of the woods, I wouldn't recommend walking on our front yard.

Liv in better days

Um...Excuse Me, Miss...

...you have a little something on your nose.

Ignorance is bliss, sometimes.

Please Pray For a Friend

Hey y'all. I'm just checking in to ask y'all to say a prayer for my friend's daughter, Elisabeth.

She is 17 years old and came down with a normal cold a week and a half ago. At this very moment she is in the local children's hospital battling a horrific virus. This thing is ravaging her body and her mama (one of my best friends from college) is just beside herself right now.

My friend has texted me, keeping me aware of the details since Sunday (when Elisabeth was admitted), but today has been especially bad. Elisabeth is not doing well and her mama is feeling rather helpless. A staph infection is also a possiblity.

They both need our prayers right now; Elisabeth for healing and her mama for peace and comfort and rest. Please stop for a moment and lift them up to our Great Physician. I would certainly appreciate and I know they would as well.

Thanks!

QUARANTINED!

Before I explain my bold blog title I just wanted to say thanks to all of you offering suggestions on our new "possible" food allergy journey. I realize I'm not the first person who's had to endure this and things could certainly be a whole lot worse. I am so thankful that my sweet Charlotte is such a good baby and bless her heart, we will find a way for her not to be congested!

That being said, I nearly cried the other night when I realized I couldn't eat homemade nachos because of the CORN chips and the CHEESE. I am realizing that I can't half heartedly commit to this and it's going to be a WHOLE lot harder than I thought. Normally, I would comfort myself with CHOCOLATE, but wait....I can't HAVE CHOCOLATE!

Which is really ironic considering what I'm about to write.

My stress level just catapulted to an all new high yesterday upon learning that my Madgirl has Type A Influenza.

The Flu. It's a bad one.

So bad in fact that not one, not two, but THREE members of the medical staff warned me to keep her away from Hope and Charlotte. For while there is little that can be done for teens and adults with the flu, NOTHING can be done for toddlers and infants! To say that I *freaked* out a little would be an understatement.

After getting Madgirl her meds I went to Wal-Mart and bought some Oscillococcinum for me and Monk. We figure between the Oscillo, Echinecea and massive amounts of vitamin C we are consuming (Emergen-C is really good stuff, by the way!), we are doing everything we can to either prevent the flu or at the very least, weaken it.


Considering neither Monk nor myself are feeling very well today, I'm not sure where things are going to end up. However, the kiddos are still all well! Thank you, Lord! Of course, they are being force fed given large quantities of Vitamin C and Echinecea as well.

I've blabbered all of that out to tell you that I may be on Bloggy Hiatus for a while next week, depending on the severity of things around here.

I just need to be Momma for a while.

Momma with no CHOCOLATE, NACHOS or COKE, but still Momma. Cranky Momma, but still Momma.

And now, Momma is off to make a big pot of Chicken Soup. Because I can eat chicken. Just not CHOCOLATE. But I'm not bitter.

Really.

The Post In Which I Give Up Chocolate...

:::GASP!::: I know, I know. You Know Where just froze over.

And no, this is not something for Lent. I'm not even sure how Lent works actually, other than the fact that my friends in school were always giving up something from Ash Wednesday until Easter. And just so you know, if it was a food item then I would always torture them by talking about it. Then I'd laugh maniacally. That's not what this is. And I'm not laughing. At all.

And it's not only chocolate. It's dairy, peanuts, tree nuts, corn and a few other things. Why, you ask? Well, I think I'll tell you.

My sweet Charlotte has pretty much stayed congested her entire short little 9 weeks in this world so far. Yes, she had a cold (probably RSV) for a week, but besides that incident the poor little thing has barely been able to breathe through her nose on most days.

Nasal saline and the bulb syringe (aka The Snot Sucker) are used multiple times on a daily basis just to give her a little relief. Honestly, it doesn't do much. And it makes her mighty ticked off. Mighty. Ticked. Off.

I had her at the doctor last week for an 8 week check-up (she's petite ~ only in the 50th percentiles!) and mentioned the ongoing congestion to the doctor. She felt it was probably a food allergy. Specifically a milk allergy. The nasal congestion pointed to it as did her inflamed, red eyelids. Problem is, I don't consume that much dairy.

If you must know ( and you don't, but I'm telling you anyway..) I am somewhat lactose intolerant. I don't drink much milk at all. I have a little in some cereal and that's about it. I don't like yogurt and while I love a good bowl of ice cream....my innards turn on me when I consume too much of it. It becomes Armageddon in the bathroom. You get my drift.

While I enjoy cheese I don't eat much of it except on the occasional burger or nacho. So I was fairly convinced the dairy angle was a moot point. However, upon doing my own research (thank you Google), I learned of many other food allergy triggers.

Chocolate is one of them.

Have I ever mentioned that when I get stressed out I tend to self medicate with chocolate? Um, yea. And when I'm happy I like to celebrate with chocolate. Yep. And if I'm bored I like to fill the time with...you guessed it! Chocolate! I pretty much need a 12-step program to quit, y'all!

Life in these parts has been a little stressful these last 9 weeks, what with a birth, Christmas, illness, new floors, more illness. I've done nothing short of making chocolate the base upon which my food pyramid lies!

But you know what? If it takes giving up chocolate so my sweet little baby can breathe then you bet your booty I'm gonna give it up!! Along with the peanut butter (..whimper..), almonds, corn tortillas, colas and anything else I might need to give up to help my sweet baby breathe.

So bear with me if I'm grouchy and whiny for a bit. I'm technically in rehab now and it ain't gonna be pretty. There could be a throwdown or two.

But let me ask you....

wouldn't you give up Ding Dongs for this?

The Sights and Sounds He Fears

So my Monk is a very low key guy. Since the day I met him (that fateful night long ago) he has never been high maintenance. Complicated somewhat, (because of his near genius intelligence that speaks waaaay over my head, confounding my little pea brain and driving me to the dictionary every 2.4 seconds) but never high maintenance.

(Ironically, I am both high maintenance and complicated. And I assure you, my complicatedness is NOT out of my genius.)

Anyway.

Not much can get his goat. It just doesn't. He used to drive me crazy with his calm, insouciant attitude towards things. Something horrible would happen and I would go to him all worked up and he would utter the words that would send me to the moon! An example would go something like this:

Me: Honey!!! Honey! !!! (hysterically crying) The washer malfunctioned, leading to an electrical short that electrocuted the cat and ,blew the dryer out, ruining an entire load of the children's clothes! We have six children with NO washer or dryer, no clothes for them and a dead cat!!

Him: It is what it is.

(This was a fictional example. No small animals, children's clothing or large appliances were injured in the writing of this blog post. Thank you. ~ The Management)

Oh, how I wanted to choke him for that phrase! It just incensed me to no end when he would say that. But through the years that little adage quit bugging me so much and in the end I even began to repeat it. That happens in marriage, you know. You start to become your spouse. Frightening really.

But after 10+ years together I have learned there are certain phrases and sights that do frighten my Monk. Things that send fear shooting through him. Things that make him want to scream like a little girl (and trust me, he knows those screams). Here they are in particular order:

- the sight of me sitting in front of the computer with my bank card out.

- Barbie and the Twelve Dancing Princesses

- the phrase, "It's a Girl!"

- the sight of his babies growing up

- Barbie's Mariposa

- me announcing, "my mom's coming to town for a few weeks."

- me starting a sentence with, "Now don't be mad, but...". (Those "buts" get mine in more trouble!)

- Barbie Swan Lake

- two words... "I'm. Late."

and finally, the phrase that sends fear straight to his heart...

- "Honey, I'm going to Target."

Lord help him. Especially because of that last one.