(Unfortunately, they are addicted to cold cereal. A bad habit started early on that has been impossible to break)
So this morning I was at Kroger by 8:30 am. An amazing accomplishment for me these days. I needed 2 (TWO!!) items: milk and cat food. The cat's gotta eat too, ya know.
I walk in and grab a cart because I know me and I know better than to NOT get a cart. I immediately remember that we are low on fruit so I go and grab some basics: organic bananas, green grapes and a bag of apples. Good thing I grabbed the cart.
Madgirl had expressed a desire for a certain type of bakery roll to make some sandwiches for her lunch, so I pick up a bag of rolls. My memory is then jogged that I needed some Ezekiel bread, so I go and grab a loaf of that. No milk OR catfood at this point.
After a few other odds and ends and grabbing the bag of cat food I finally make it to the milk case. I grabbed two gallons of milk. I should have walked away at this point, but as usual, I did not. Since I can eat dairy and chocolate again (in small amounts and yes, I forgot to post about it ~ just know that I can, okay?), for some unknown reason I've been craving those two things together ~ in the form of chocolate milk. So I grab quart of chocolate milk.
(at this point I will NOT admit that right there in the middle of the dairy aisle at Kroger I proceeded to open up that puppy and take a GIANT swig!)
Then I remember the Lemon Poppyseed muffins I want to make require buttermilk, so I grab some buttermilk. Then I spied some 1/2 gallons of milk marked down to 75 cents a 1/2 gallon (I KNOW!) and I grabbed two of those, which in hindsight I realize I should have grabbed about four to six! I blame my lack of judgement on the fact that the only thing in my system at this point was the chocolate milk that I had just thrown down and I must have been in some sugar rush stupor! That or I'm just dumb. Both are a viable possibility.
At that moment I turn around to leave only to see the bakery lady FILLING the day old bread cart. Well, my natural Carbohydrate Loving Fat Cells can smell the gluten, thereby taking over my body in some Exorcist sort of fashion, forcing me against my will, to go look upon the unnatural white bread
Well, my head starts to spin and I start grabbing sub rolls marked down to 79 cents so I can make meatballs subs! Then I grab the wheat rolls for sandwiches! And just about the time I start trying to chuck 4 packs of cinnamon rolls into my cart I had a Supernatural Healing and was released from my Carbohydrate Bondage! That and the bakery lady was looking at me all weird like.
I'm now starting to think it may have been my chocolate milk mustache.
Anyway at this point my cart contains:
- 2 gallons of milk
- 2 1/2 gallons of milk
- 1 quart of buttermilk
- 1 quart of open chocolate milk
- 1 bag of bakery rolls
- 1 loaf of Ezekiel bread ( because I WILL be healthy!)
- 2 bags of sub rolls
- 1 bag of wheat rolls
- 1 package of Tostada shells
refried beans, taco sauce, catfood, natural deodorant and fruit
I proceed to the checkout where...no lie...the cashier asks,
"Do you run a restaurant?"
Her: "Do you run a restaurant?" (nodding her head towards the bread and milk)
Me: Long pause....
Me: "Uh...Nope. We're just pigs."
Conversation over. Apparently her Stupid Question quota for the day had been met.
And I left with my milk and bread to go home to my