I know around here things are pretty crazy sometimes. Bloggy speaking, that is. I have a rather nutty sense of humor and I really do like to use it and share it. But plainly speaking, sometimes you feel like a nut...and sometimes you don't.
Right now, I don't.
I don't want people to think that I'm always just this obnoxious nut posting pictures of donuts and trying to give my children away. I really do have a serious side and I really do use my brain. More importantly, I really do desire the things of God. Sometimes I just need to take a break from the silliness and this is one of those times.
I know that sometimes I go through periods in my life of a spiritual barrenness. It is such a lonely place to be. I have felt like a dry and barren land, abandoned by God and too ashamed to admit it to anyone else. But God is good to me every time. He restores me always and again I am full and overflowing.
Then today I was reading in a Charles Spurgeon devotional I have. Nothing complicated, just simple, short devotionals. I came across this, which says it all beautifully:
There are times when we feel very barren. Prayer is lifeless, love is cold, faith is weak; each grace in the garden of our heart languishes and droops. In such a condition, what are we to do? I can sing of Jesus Christ. I can talk of visits which the Redeemer has paid to me. I can magnify the great love with which He loved His people when He came from the heights of heaven for their redemption. I will go to the cross again. Come, my soul, heavy laden you once were and lost your burden there. Go to Calvary again. Perhaps that very cross which gave you life may give you fruitfulness. What is my barrenness? It is the platform for His fruit-creating power. What is my desolation? It is the setting for the sapphire of His everlasting love. I will go in poverty, I will go in helplessness, I will go in all my shame and backsliding; I will tell Him that I am still His child, and in confidence in His faithful heart, I will sing and cry aloud. Sing, believer, for it will cheer your heart and the hearts of other desolate ones. Sing on, for now that you are really ashamed of being barren, you will be fruitful soon; now that God makes you reluctant to be without fruit, He will soon cover you with clusters. The experience of our barrenness is painful, but the Lord's visitations are delightful. A sense of our own poverty drives us to Christ, and that is where we need to be, for in Him is our fruit found.
Strengthen My Spirit from Charles Spurgeon
I pray that when another time of barrenness comes for me, and it will come, that I can look on these words of comfort. I pray that in my shame and backsliding ways, I will look to Him and still sing. I pray that He will bring that shame of my barrenness upon me and that I will want nothing more than Him. And I pray that once again He will cover me in clusters and my fruit will be found only in Him.