Why? Well, that would be a really long story. And while I love you people an awful lot, I'm just not willing to put you through that. So, I'll just give you the abridged version.
My Boy is moving out of my house today.
After not having lived with his real dad in 12 years (because he lived 4 1/2 hours away), his dad recently moved back to the area and My Boy is going to live with him for his last year and a half of high school.
He has my blessing and I, probably more than anyone, realize it's something he needs to do for his own peace of mind. Unfortunately, it's just another one of those ugly things that come from divorce, you know?
He will only be about 3 miles away which is just about a 5 minute drive. I know he'll still come over looking for food( which honestly, is about what he does now. :o) ). And I know I'll see him several times a week. And I know he'll call. And I know he'll still tell me I'm the only girl in his life. But...
If I know all of these things, then why does my heart feel like is about to burst from my chest?
Because I love that kid to death, that's why. And the thought of not seeing his crooked, dimpled smile every day just about kills me. Not quite, but just about.
Watching him pack his things from his room tonight was almost too much for me. The last 17 years flashed before my eyes and it seemed as if I watched him grow up in 10 minutes time all over again.
I know that God has given me peace about the whole situation and for that, I am thankful. I also know that this is just another season of my life and "it too shall pass". But if you wouldn't mind saying a little pray for my broken spirit today, I would greatly appreciate it. As we all know (Monk more than anyone, bless his heart), I have an added dose of hormones these days and well....the tears? Let's just say they are swift to fall at the moment (otherwise I wouldn't be locked in the office snotting all over my computer keyboard as I write this!).
Is this how it will feel every time a child leaves the nest?
If so....I'm a goner.