Monday, October 06, 2008

He's Going to Juvey

Because he's young and in trouble.

He has no moral compass.

And he's gettin' on my doggone nerves!!

How does HE feel about this?

Yeah well, too bad dude! You've been a baaaaaaaad dog this week! And for the last month!

What could he have possibly done, you say?

Hmmmm, let me see:

- He chewed a hole in the corner of my couch.

- He chews on poor Pepper's neck (our 9 year old dog) and pulls her around the kitchen by her tail as if she were his personal play thing. She weighs 50 lbs.

- He has chewed multiple pairs of shoes, toys and half the stuff in our recycle bin DESPITE being given multiple chew toys and rawhides.

- He barks incessantly if he doesn't get his way.

- He tore holes in the back of not one, but TWO, of Grace's dresses this week while she was running in the back yard.

(sidenote here: Monk and I, being the moral and upright parents we are, told Grace that we didn't believe Harley put those holes in her dresses. We told her it was really her own gas that put those holes in the back of her dresses and she was blaming the dog. Sis did NOT find this funny. However, Monk and I found it totally and completely hilarious. We are nothing if not good parents. Sis would disagree.)

And this, my friends, is the short list. Needless to say, Momma has had it.

Oh, don't tell me he's cute. I KNOW he's cute. So are my children, but when they disobey, they receive discipline. The dog gets no special provision just because he has big, floppy, adorable ears.

So, what's next for poor 'ol Harley?

Off to Doggy Juvey he goes. That would be otherwise known as - Obedience School. He and Monk will have 8 weeks of male bonding every Monday evening. The old boy is going to learn to walk the straight and narrow. That would be the dog, not Monk.

8 weeks? What else happens in 8 weeks?

OH, RIGHT! A BABY!! This dog had better learn and he had better learn quick 'cause once them postpartum hormones kick in.....


Ironically enough ...... I think he knows this.


Jill said...

Poor Harley, but I can soooooo relate to your frustration. We now have an outside dog because he didn't learn in time before the postpartum stuff. Now he's been an outside dog for 8 years. Oh well. Should've learned. Anyway, hope Harley "gets it" before the baby comes and hope you and the family enjoy the benefits for years to come!

Lizardbreath said...

It's about time Monk went to obedience school. I thought you never would get him trained.

TheMadMonk said...

Watch it lizardbreath. We still haven't gone through potty training and I'll come soil your carpet.

Jedi Miller said...

Harley needs abouta 2 to 3 mile walk a day he's got too much energy so he's acting out. If you wanted you cold shorten his walk but put a vest.bag for him to carry on his back that has about 20 to 30lbs of weight in it. He's a big strong dog and needs an output for his energy. These are from the Dog whisperer.

Sgt and Mrs Hub said...

HAHAHA! The whole gas thing nearly had me in fits!!! WE would have SO done the same thing. I had a colorful childhood is all I can say. My mom and dad taught me well. :)

Watch out for those hormones...!