Monday, March 30, 2009

Barbara Walters I Am Not

So, my sister T. was in town for Not Enough Time again, but OH! the fun we had! I've been just short of an all out depressive episode since she left on Sunday. Absence does make the heart grow fonder, my friends. But the good-byes?

They pert near kill me.

So while she was here I kept good on my promise to interview her. Let me just say something about my interviewing skills.

They stink.

I couldn't keep a straight face if my life depended on it. We giggled more than a gaggle of 6 year old girls. I should know this. I have a gaggle.

(Ooo fun....giggle AND gaggle...how often does one use both of those words in the same sentence?)

Anyway, here it is: Interview With My Sister ~ The Untold Story of...Stuff.


Me:Can I tell blogdom your real name or do you want to be all mysterious and only be known as "T"?


Her: I don't care. (So much for mysterious)


Me: So does that mean yes?


Her: Yeah, sure.


Me: Her name is Teresa everyone.

(hold your applause)


Me: Do you really read my blog every day?


Her: Yep. It's one of the first things I do every morning. I work out, eat my breakfast, read a little bit of news and then your blog.

(She works out. I hate her.)

Me: What do you eat for breakfast?

Her: I eat a Yoplait Fat Free yogurt, a quarter cup of cereal and soy milk with raspberries and blueberries.

(Who eats a quarter cup of cereal?? Really? Of course, this would be why she's lost 30 pounds and I "moo" when I walk)

Me: Did you know that fat free and soy isn't the best for you?

(I'm lookin' for a fight, can you tell?)

Her: You just think you know everything. The Chinese have been eating soy for years and they're healthy. Don't believe everything you hear.


Me: I'll send you some info, okay?

(really trying to push her buttons with that one)


Her: Whatever.


(Shoot.)



Me: Do I sound the same on my blog as I do in real life?

Her: Yea...hehe...yea.


Me: You like me the best in the family, right? ::snicker::


Her: (smirking) Of course.


Me: Is my house crazy?

Her: Absitively, posolutely nuts!


Me: What's the best part of being at my house?


Her: Umm...it's just crazy. We go shopping and I love going shopping with you guys cause you crack me up. AND...I always get to come down and see a new niece!! (raucous laughter!!)

(Notice the word "crazy" is key in describing my home, right?)

Me: (laughing) THAT was funny!


Her: I sometimes miss my boys being little and then I come here! hahaha! (my nephews are 27 and 29)


Me: What's the worst part of being at my house? (me smirking...she's gonna say somethin' about the animals, I just know it!)


Her: The dog hair and cat hair probably

(Told ya! ding! ding! ding!)


Me: I agree completely.


Me: Was the cake I made for Grace's birthday party today totally awesome?


Her: Yea, it was!


Me: I'm cool aren't I?


Her: Yea, I think you're pretty cool. Well... you're okay.


Me: Does my backyard look like a Bosnian mine field?


Her: (laughing) Yea, it does. You have to play hopscotch out there.


Me: Hope does a pretty good job avoiding it though, doesn't she?


Her: Yea, she does.


Me: Did you feel guilty when you started throwing up the other night and thought you gave my whole family the flu?


Her: I was like, "I don't wanna go in there and tell her! She's gonna be so mad! I felt like crap though!"


Me: This is the first time I've used the word crap on my blog. How do feel about that?

(Again..me pushing buttons)

Her: If crap's the worst thing I say then I'm not doing too bad.


Me: You aren't staying awake for me tonight, are you?


Her: (Eyes closed, head laying on couch) Me? No, I'm fine.


...profuse giggling...


Me: Going back to my childhood...was I brat?


Her: (Nodding) Uh-huh.


Me: Really?


Her: Well, yea. You were the baby and you were babied too much.

(Well now. She doesn't mince words, does she?)

Me: What's the worst thing I ever did to you as a child? Puke in your hair when I was 5?


Her: Didn't you tell on me once and get me in trouble for something?

(Once? Once?)


Me: The Monopoly set?


Her: What?


Me: I called mom at work and told on you and D. (our brother) for playing Monopoly when you were supposed to be cleaning. Then she burned it in the fireplace that night.

(Our mother did NOT play around. As evidenced by the charred "Get Out of Jail Free" card!)


Her: Oh yea!


Me: Or how about the time I told you your boyfriend Paul got caught in tornado? Remember that?

(evil giggling)


Her: Oh yea, I vaguely remember that...


Me: Remember the time I bit my tongue off? (Not completely, but pert near)

(I really did. I was 5 and chasing a little boy around in Sunday School when I slipped and fell because of my black patent Mary Jane's. The only time in my life I've cursed a cute pair of shoes.)

Her: Oh yea, as a matter of fact Hope was running in the house yesterday and I thought, "she's gonna do exactly what Michelle did and fall and bite her tongue off?" I felt so sorry for you. You could only eat baby food.

(Banana baby food ROCKS, by the way!)


Me: Do you remember that they thought I would have a speech impediment?


Her: Yea!


Me: They were wrong about that one! HA! I even went on to play the trumpet! ( a musical instrument that requires the use of the tongue!)


( Teresa played trumpet too. At this point we offered to sing taps and demonstrate the Taps "echo" for Madison, but she declined. Hmpf.)


Me: Am I the most unorganized person you know? Be honest.


Her: Well, you're not thee most unorganized person, but you are towards the top of the list. (profuse laughter)


Me: You have to admit though, I'm better that I used to be and I even have more kids, right?


Her: Yea, that's for sure, you are better.


Me: So there's hope for me?


Her: When all the kids are gone and all the animals are dead!!


(LOUD BURSTS OF RAUCOUS LAUGHTER!)


Me: Do you think I'll have another baby? (major smirking and laughing on my part)


(At this point Madgirl interjects with, "Answer honestly, but don't encourage her!")


Her: (humming music to Jeopardy) Can you repeat the question?


Me: Come on now, all of blogdom wants to know....


Her: Let's put it this way....I think her name will be Emersen!!


(MORE LOUD BURSTS OF RAUCOUS LAUGHTER!)


Me: Final question. Do I spend too much money at Target?


Her: No. Not enough.

(Ha! She's my girl!)

Me: Monk's gonna hate you.


Me: Are you gonna miss me?


Her: Yea. It's gonna be quiet.


Me: Yea. Well it won't ever be quiet for me though.

~~~~~~~~Interview over~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


And yes, things are too quiet for her today and not quiet enough for me. We miss each other terribly and are already plotting our next meeting together. In a little over 2 months! Woot!

Sisters are a good thing, y'all.

A really. good. thing.

2 comments:

Christine said...

This is just way too funny! Y'all need your own reality show! It would be a hoot! ;)

Sgt and Mrs Hub said...

Sigh... sisters ARE a good thing. Wish I had one :)

-Andrea