I was thrilled at the thought of all the bows and baby dolls, and all manner of "girlie" I was going to have the pleasure of experiencing with her. My heart burst with excitement at the thought of the grand adventure it was going to be to have a daughter.
(Little did I know that I would be swimming in bows and baby dolls with four more daughters many years later, huh?)
Madison (aka Maddie, aka Madgirl) never let me down in the girlie department. She loved bows, American Girl dolls, dresses and every other girlie thing on the planet. If it sparkled ~ we owned it.
She's pretty much the same today. Her sparkle just comes in the form of lip gloss, shoes, purses (all 40 of them ~ no kidding. She needs a 12 step program) and personality. She's a lot like me with one exception.
She has a backbone.
Where I have pretty much been a doormat for the last 39 years, this beautiful daughter of mine can stand her ground. And she does. She was put into a situation last year where she had to return to public school. She was not very happy about it then nor is she currently. It's been a tough two years because of this.
While I've seen her personality change to have a somewhat tougher exterior (which I don't necessarily like), I've also seen this amazing desire in her to stand up for what she believes in. Sometimes, much to the chagrin of her teachers. HA!
She's not somebody's wallflower to be seen and not heard concerning her Christianity. Not to say that she's perfect by any means, but this girl can
Why share all of this?
I guess because I blinked and my meek little girl with pigtails turned into a beautiful, bold young woman. One who wants to know the Lord and serve in any capacity He's called her to. Even if that means ::gasp:: missions. (She told me this the other day) And I'm just sitting here, shaking my head trying to figure out where the time has gone and how she got to be so stinkin' amazing.
(Amazing, but still very trying at times. Don't be fooled ~ we have our moments...ahem.)
And if I'm going to be honest, I may have prayed a selfish little prayer that said, "please Lord, don't take her far away from me."
I bought her a silver heart locket for her birthday and per her request, took her to have her hair cut and highlighted. When she was finished and Marinell (remember, my Hair Genius?) turned her around, I gasped and my eyes stung trying to fight back tears.
She was beautiful and for the first time it really hit me that she was almost grown. And that she really could go away and do missions someday! And that I just might not have her close by for the rest of my life! And that time was precious! Time was precious y'all and what was I gonna do if the Lord called her to missions and she moved far way from me and I want her to serve the Lord where He's called her and I don't want to be selfish, but Oh Please don't take her far away from me and, and and...
I breathed. I have her now. And now is enough for me.
Happy Sweet 16 Madgirl. I love you.