Monday, July 28, 2008

Prenatal Yoga is the Devil

It is, my friends. I was there. I witnessed it first hand.

Yoga is not a sport. It is more like a state of mind. A state that I don't want to visit!

I'm not saying it is not a workout. Oh, no, no, no. The muscles in my back and legs can vouch for that. It's a workout, just not a fun one. I don't want a workout where I'm all peaceful in the end. I want a workout where there's competition! Where somebody wins or loses! Where people are cheering you on! Where blood is a definite possibility! Where closing your eyes is not a part of the game!

I don't seek focus through breathing, folks. Nope, just can't do it. Keeping your eye on the ball? Now that's focus.

I went last week to the yoga class and hated it then. I really wasn't even sure if I wanted to go back, until at my chiropractor appointment today, my doc told me I really needed it to help strengthen my back.

Stupid chiropractor. ( I really do love my chiropractor(s) - I just hate it when he's right. And he usually is, so I listen.)

And so I went back. And I breathed and I inhaled and I exhaled... and I was bored out of my ever-lovin' mind! The nice yoga lady mentioned that too. She said if you're bored while doing yoga then you're not really doing yoga.

Ya think?

All I could think of was how much I wanted a biscuit. And if I went into the Goddess pose one more time, I would surely pee myself in front of all these gestating women.

And the self image issues I'm having. Heavens to Betsy some of these women are flexible! And they all have such young, cute, tight bodies. Did I mention tight? Of all the words in the English language I can honestly say tight is not one that I would ever use to describe my body!

My chiropractor's wife (who is also an awesome chiropractor and who adjusted my back while in excruciating back labor with Hope and is my friend and is expecting also) asked me after class how I liked it.

I didn't lie. I told her I hated it. She confided in me that when she started, she hated it too. BUT...the more she went the easier it got and soon she found herself liking it. Hmpf.

So, I guess I'll keep going. And from here on out, Tuesdays will be known as The Devil Yoga Update. Who knows...maybe I'll end up liking it. Highly unlikely, but maybe.

But if I pee myself doing the Goddess pose I'm not tellin' you.


Little Loveys Mom said...

i can totally agree with you. the first couple of times i went to yoga i couldn't help but giggle the whole time..i was thinking "are you ppl for real? inner what?" all i kept thinking of was what groceries i had to pick up or please don't fart with ur butt in the air
i did enjoy bikram yoga...can't do it while preg, but whew what a workout! i love the idea of yoga and i try hard to keep up with my dvd's, but yoga still makes me giggle

JB&Cindy said...

We all sat around waiting for a mom to birth dying laughing at your blog this AM. I can't wait to read next Tuesday's post! Thanks for making me laugh!!

Sherian said...

Oh I soooo want to know if you pee yourself! I bet ya do!!! LOL
...from one pee-er to another.

Madgirl said...

Your embarrassing. Funny. But embarrassing. So, hey I guess your doing your job. lol. ily. :]

TheMadMonk said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
TheMadMonk said...

All children are forthwith banned from leaving comments until they learn the difference between "your" and "you're".

As it is written, so shall it be done.

Lora Lynn said...

We have Wii Fit and I do the yoga on there. Nobody to laugh at me but hubs.