Me -1 Discover Card - 0

I think I mentioned before that Monk and I have started doing Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University. If you've never heard of Dave Ramsey or FPU, you really need to go to daveramsey.com and check it out. It will change your life. Guaranteed.

Anyway, just over a week ago I had the exciting privilege of paying off my Discover Card. (Give me an AMEN!) This particular credit card has been a thorn in my side for many, many years now. When the opportunity arose to pay it off ~ I was more than elated!

Monk and I gathered around my computer and he watched me check the little circle that said 'Pay Full Amount'. And then I held my breath and clicked the button that said 'Submit'. Then those beautiful words appeared on the screen ...

Payment Accepted

Monk and I whooped and hollered and then we fist bumped. I could swear I felt a chain fall from my wrist at that very moment. I logged in a few days later just so I could see that under the balance it read, '0.00'. What an amazing feeling.

Anyway. I kept meaning to call and close the account and just kept forgetting. Until today.

Y'all. I tell you it took an act of Congress to close that stinkin' account!! I was nervous at first. Then I found it hilarious. Then I became angry. Then it got funny again and I finally convinced Discover Card that I was D-O-N-E!

The conversation went something like this:

Discover girl: Hi, this is Mindy, how may I help you today?

Me: Yes, I'd like to close my account please.

Her: I'm very sorry to hear that (me thinking: yeah, I bet.). May I ask why you are wanting to close your account?

Me: I'm trying to close out all of my credit card debt and only use my debit card.

Her: I understand. I see that you've recently paid your balance in full. You do realize that credit card debt is not something that we are responsible for (really?) and now that your balance is zero you could treat you card as a debit card and still earn 5 % blah, blah, blah, blah. Are you interested?

Me: No, thank-you.

Her: I see that your interest rate was recently raised from ?% to ??%. I could lower that interest back down to your old interest rate for you and credit back your account $50 for some of your interest charges (REALLY? $50?? This is where it was almost comical), does that sound like something you might like to do.

Me: Um, no. Just close the account please.

Her: Okay, I understand. I see that you've been a long standing customer with us for the last 14 years (me: don't you mean 'sucker' for the last 14 years, lady?!) and we would certainly hate to lose you now. I could offer you a guaranteed interest rate of 3.4% for the next six months and you could take advantage of that low interest rate on some purchases that perhaps you've been wanting to make (But they don't encourage debt, right?). How does that sound?

Me: That sounds like debt. I think I've paid y'all enough for the last 14 years, I don't care to give you anymore of my money. Please close the account.

(This is where she changed her strategy. She was done trying to woo me back, now she was going to use fear mongering. This is when I got a wee bit angry. Okay. I was ticked!)

Her: You do realize that your 14 year relationship with us is on your credit report, don't you? By closing this account you do realize that you are erasing that long credit history and thereby affecting your overall credit score. You don't want to do that, do you?

Me: My credit score is of very little importance to me at the moment. Getting out from under credit card debt means more to me than that credit score at the moment. Please close the account.

Her: Blah, blah, blah....(I really don't remember what she said here because I was mad and had tuned her out by this time.)

Me: (interrupting) Have you ever heard of Dave Ramsey?

Her: Yes I have.

Me: I'm doing Dave Ramsey's program right now and Dave told me to get out from under credit card debt. I don't want to waste anymore of your valuable time and nothing you say is not going to convince me to keep my account open or otherwise. Please do us both a favor and close the account.

Her: (pause) Okay, Mrs. Monk, your account is now closed (FINALLY!). Please destroy all cards and or checks you may have pertaining to this account. (pause) And just so you know, your account can possibly be reinstated in the next 90 days without a credit approval should you wish to reconsider.

Me: ::sigh:: Okay.

Her: Thank you Mrs. Monk. Have a nice day. (don't you know she was banging her head on the desk and and sticking pins all over her little Dave Ramsey voodoo doll!!! haha! Then I bet she yelled to the whole room ... ' we lost another one to that dang Dave Ramsey!')

Me: I will.

Y'all, it took me TWELVE (12!!!) minutes to cancel my dumb credit card! I've heard the stories, but I've yet to experience it until today!! CUH-RAZY!!

Poor Mindy. She probably hates Dave Ramsey.

This will be the first of many debts we plan on paying off and quite honestly, I can't wait to call the next person to cancel an account!! I'm just gonna have fun with it and mess with some people's heads! Because I'm a little evil that way.

Oh, y'all. That conversation pretty much made my day today!

And in the word's of Dave ...

"Live like no one else so you can live like no one else"

I think he'd be proud.