Monday, April 20, 2009

This Boy and His Momma


This boy was in a car accident on Friday.

His momma was leaving Target with three children and a truck load of groceries when he called her.

This boy told her he was fine, but he was stuck in a ditch and waiting on a tow truck.

His momma dropped off the other kids and the groceries to go to his rescue.

This boy was standing beside the road, next to his car which was stuck in a bunch of trees and bushes in a ditch.

His momma turns Phil the Suburban around and proceeds to try and pull off the side of the little two lane highway on the opposite side of him.

This boy motions her to NOT do this because it had been raining and the shallow ditch was full of water.

His momma was quite sure that it would be okay because she would leave one of the back tires on the pavement and therefore wouldn't get stuck. After all, she was driving Phil the Suburban. (Phil being short for Philistine.)

This boy stood there and shook his head.

His momma rolled down her window to make sure her boy was okay.

This boy assured me he was fine and then told me I was gonna be stuck in the mud.

His momma laughed and told her boy she was driving Phil the Suburban and just watch her get out with her Mad Driving Skillz.

This boy stood there with a smirk and shook his head.

His momma started to pull away, but couldn't. Her tires were stuck in mud. Apparently she missed the pavement with that back tire.

This boy stood there and shook his head.

His momma rocked Phil the Suburban back and forth, back and forth and did nothing but sling mud approximately 20 feet.

This boy stood there and shook his head.

His momma realized she was stuck when she saw that her passenger side back tire had spun a hole large enough to be under consideration for a new lake. Or pond at the very least.

This boy said I was gonna have to call a tow truck to be pulled out.

His momma called Monk instead and asked if he could bring some boards and come and rescue her.

This boy stood there and shook his head because now he AND his momma needed to be rescued.

His momma had a stuck boy, a stuck truck and a 4 1/2 month old Charlie that needed to be nursed.

This boy stood and waved to the Good Samaritans who stopped by asking if he was okay. They ignored his idiotic mother on the other side of the road and thought it probably best not pull off and try to help lest they get stuck too.

His momma finally saw Monk coming around the corner and was relieved because she had a baby that was becoming hungrier by the minute.

This boy not only stood there and shook his head, but now laughed as well.

His momma watched as Monk approached Phil the Suburban and began to shake his head. These men and their head shaking was about to get on the momma's last nerve.

This boy still stood on the other side of the road, shaking his head, pretending he did not know the crazy red headed woman with the baby and the stuck truck across from him.

His momma watched as Monk looked at the mud half way up the back tires, shaking his head in disgust, trying to figure out if boards were gonna be enough to get Phil unstuck.

This boy watched as a kind passerby with a BIG truck and even BIGGER chain stopped by and offered to pull Phil out of his predicament.

His momma secretly happy danced and was ever SO relieved when Phil was released from his miry depths and driven off to a more secure, non-muddy spot.

This boy was relieved that his idiotic mother was now further down the road and not drawing any more attention to him and his stuck car.

His momma still waited with this boy long after Monk had left to retrieve the family some dinner.

This boy talked on his cell phone and must have talked to a dozen friends that drove by shocked and asking if he was okay.

His momma waited with him for 2 hours for that dumb tow truck.

This boy kept claiming that once his car was unstuck he could probably drive it home because he couldn't see any damage.

His momma shook her head.

This boy was very excited to see the tow truck approaching and finally got off of his cell phone.

His momma stood and watched as the tow truck had to block both lanes of the two lane highway in order to pull this boy's car out. People were not happy.

This boy was rather shocked that the entire front driver's side of his car was in shambles and his axle was broke plumb in half.

His momma shook her head.

This boy didn't think only going 30mph could do that much damage,

His momma shook her head.

This boy thought the tow truck driver was really cool.

His momma, in a moment of sheer irony, thought the tow truck driver reminded her of Mater off of the Disney movie, Cars. Dad gum.

This boy laughed when his momma told him that.

His momma was SO relieved when the tow truck finally drove away.

This boy, I think, was thankful his momma was there to rescue him.

His momma was thankful, too.

Especially thankful that this boy wasn't hurt. Cause she loves him. Just a little.


Sgt and Mrs Hub said...

Yeah... just a little. :)

Glad it all ended well. Sorry Phil let ya down ;)


mindi said...

LOL!! That's pretty funny. Glad it all turned out okay :)

tad said...

Tell the boy that I'm happy he's okay. Tell the man with the big chain thank-you. Tell Monk I said "did you really think, you could get Phil out with a couple of boards?" Tell Charlie that I'm glad she finally got to eat. Tell all men that when you stand and shake your head you're asking for it. And last but not least tell Momma that it's very hard on your stomach to laugh that hard first thing in the morning!! (I shed tears) Love, T.