Sleep Deprivation. Alternately Titled: I'M LOSING MY MIND!

So I was going to post some wonderful Christmas-y pictures on here, but....I've been too exhausted to mess with actually downloading and editing anything these last few days.

Why?

Well, it's this little thing that I have called....a baby.

Oh yes, our little Charlie is quite the night owl, she is. Most of the time our wee party baby enjoys screaming from around 11 pm until 1 or 2 am. Saturday night I had the distinct privilege of being kept awake until 3 am! With the added bonus of Grace waking us up at 3:37 am (I know this cuz I looked at the clock!) with great RETCHING noises! That and she was screaming, "I'M THROWING UP!!" from the hall bathroom.

I had approximately 37 minutes of sleep before this occurred. Oh the joy. Monk, who is in his own sleep deprived haze, was kind enough to get up and let me just lay in the bed in a semi comatose state. This is the man who used to dry heave upon changing a poopy diaper and now he cleans up vomit. I love him so.

I have always been somewhat of a night owl. In college I was the party room (well as much as one could party at a Baptist college. But fun times, right Jill?). When I had a few less children it was nothing for me to stay up until 2 am cleaning the whole house. I usually get a second wind around 11 pm and am good for a few more hours.

But this baby thing? It's kickin' my booty.

I've mentioned before that whoever said the older you get the less sleep you need ~ lied. It is a fallacy from the pits of hell itself. I am an "older" mother and I'm getting a lot less sleep. It has not been kind to me, my friends.

It affects me physically in many, many ways. Last night was the worst yet. I was physically ill, telling Monk that I thought I was going to vomit from being so tired. My stomach was not only upset, but cramping with diarrhea pains as well. I was weepy and felt as if I could quite literally pass out. These are the joys of sleep deprivation.

The other morning afternoon after I showered I was using my eye makeup remover and I just could not get all the mascara from beneath my eyes. After a few minutes I realized that it was not in fact mascara under my eyes. No, I discovered that the deep dark discoloration was a permanent fixture. "New baby" circles. Dark circles. The kind that don't go away unless one gets sleep. I am, in fact, a raccoon. No amount of concealer can completely cover these bad boys. I know. I've tried.

Also, the other night while trying to nurse, I couldn't get my sweet girl to latch on. I, as well as she, was getting more and more frustrated by the minute. It was then that I realized that it would help if I actually put my nipple in her mouth and quit trying to shove it up her nose. This makes breastfeeding a whole lot more productive. I'm just sayin'.

I've also learned that late night screaming babies improve one's prayer life quite a bit. The line, "please Jesus, let her go to sleep" has crossed my lips more than I can even count. It has made me sorely aware of my own inadequacy and just how much I need God in all aspects of my life. Children do that to you, ya know? Self examination becomes mandatory when one becomes a parent.

Am I whining? Nope. Just keeping it real.

So, despite my lack of sleep and feeling like I'm going to lose my mind on occasion, I just want you all to know...

...life is good. Tired. But good.

(p.s. The desktop piece of junk computer did something weird with my pics, that's why there haven't been any. Monk will come to my rescue later)

(p.p.s. We looked at laptops this weekend too!! Wait for it....wait for it....)