Monday, December 01, 2008

I SO Can't Believe I'm Showing Y'all This.

So me and the fam (even My Boy!) were sitting around talking and laughing last night. We were pointing out and comparing important things like who was double jointed and such. Sis won in that category with freakishly alarming talents. The stuff circus dreams are made of, my friends.

As does so often these last few days, the subject of just when I am going to have this baby came up. Madgirl had wanted me to go into labor ALL day yesterday. Mostly because she didn't want to go to school today, but partly because it is driving everyone a little insane not knowing if this baby is a boy or a girl. That and they're tired of me being a grouch.

(HA! Wait until the postpartum hormones kick in, my pretties! Grouch will look mighty nice compared to blubbering ball of emotional goo!)

She came over, as she so often does and began poking at my protruding belly. Apparently she thinks that if she annoys the baby enough, like she does her little sisters, then just perhaps it might decide to come out. Ha, if only. Then she began yelling into my bulge.

"Come out Charlie, we want to see you!" (Charlie is her pet name for the baby since from the beginning. She has also informed me that no matter if it is a boy or a girl and no matter WHAT we name it, the child will forever be known as Charlie to her.)

And on and on she went, not so much annoying the baby, but annoying the everlovin' snot out of me!

I finally blurted out, "Why don't you just write it a letter, Maddie!"

She got that gleam in her eye that she so often has when she is about to embark on something no good (which pretty much means that gleam is there 24/7). Maniacal laughter ensued and then she begged me to let her write on my belly. Um, heck no. She begged some more.

The begging went something like this:

Her: Please!

Me: No!

Her: Please!

Me: No!

Her: PLEASE!

Me: No!

You get the gist, I'm sure.

She finally got the better of me (that and I wanted her to shut-up) and so I agreed to let her write on my belly. She clapped her hands with delight and ran to get her gel pens. This was after she asked to use a Sharpie!! She nearly got a Slappie!

It wasn't enough to let her write on my belly. Noooo! She wanted pictures too! By this time I was putty in her hands and frankly didn't care what she did just so long as she promised to leave me alone when she was done. As so picture taking ensued.

I'll grudgingly admit that by the time she was done I was laughing. So yes, we had a good time. What I didn't imagine though, was that I would show y'all the finished product.

Oh, no, no, no! Belly flesh has never been seen on this here blog. Some things are sacred my friends, and while my belly flesh is most certainly NOT one of them, I still wouldn't ever show it on my Blawg!

Until now. (gulp.)

I will tell you that I changed the pictures to black and white as to save you the excruciating trauma of having to see my belly in color. It's one thing to see the stretch mark lines, it's a whole 'nother kind of nasty to have to see their lovely shade of purple.

Trust me, if I had Photoshop them bad boys would have been long gone. But alas, I'm technologically challenged at the moment and so you all will suffer because of it. My apologies.

Brace yourselves.

In the process....















The finished letter. She circled my mole and then felt compelled to label it as such. She's so kind that way. Shield your eyes from the stretch mark horror.



















And an up close of the whole lovely event. Notice her sarcasm. And on her own mother's flesh!



















And there it is. I've done gone and shown my belly flesh on the blog. The one thing I said I'd never do. For shame.

Amazing the things you will allow to happen when you're sittin' around twiddling your thumbs, waiting on a baby to make its appearance.

Come on kid! You'd better get here quick before all manner of bedlam breaks loose around this place!!

13 comments:

Sarah R said...

My daughter's name is Maddie and she would do the exact same thing.

Vanessa said...

That is so cute. I'm excited about you having the baby too but I will try not to drive you crazy.

Jill said...

I have never met a woman (myself included) who thought her own baby bump was pretty enough to show off unashamedly to others. Then again, I never met Dimi Moore et al. However, I think yours is adorable! I also think Maddie's letter is cute. You will be glad you did this. Hope he (or she) makes his (or her) arrival soon, but in the meantime, get some rest for the LABOR you're about to go through!

Jill said...

OOPS! Should have proofread it: That would be Demi Moore. Of course, I have never met Dimi Moore either, or asked if she had a beautiful baby bump. Best Wishes, 'Chelle!

Lizardbreath said...

Rock is SOOOOOO jealous! He begged, annoyed, irritated me incessently to let him paint my belly like an egg or any other thing he could think of. Of course you are much more fun than I.

Sgt and Mrs Hub said...

Oh! I love your baby belly! I wouldn't Photoshop it at all. It's perfect.

I have to agree... C'mon Baby!!!

-Andrea

Carla said...

I can't believe you let her do that. At least now I know who to go to when I want you to do something.

Kim said...

Those stretch marks were hard-earned, honey! Be proud!

mindi said...

Hey, I have a million stretch marks myself :D
That is too cute, the writing, and the waiting must be PURE torture for all of you!! I can't wait and I haven't even met you IRL!!

Anonymous said...

ok first that is cute, secondly, if you still scrapbooked that would be the utmost CUTEST page spread, and last she pointed out the mole? Only maddie. Oh my why oh why did i miss this.
jen

Rock said...

That is soooo Awesome!!! You could sell tickets to write on your belly. People would line up for miles to paint the prego belly. "If you build it they will come."

See lizardbreath.....it is cool. See....See.

Christine said...

Now that is just darling, girl!

Emily G. said...

You are braver than I am. That's totally cute-and I agree with Kim, wear the stretch marks proudly. Let's hope the baby gets the message! :)