Monday, May 18, 2009

Not Me Monday

So, in the spirit of the Not Me Monday segment of MckMama's blog, I am choosing to completely and totally reveal my most embarrassing, idiotic moments of the last week for all of blogdom to see.

Well. All two of you at least.

And here we go...

I was called at 4:20 am this last Saturday morning by my good friend and midwife, Ann. She informed me that she had a momma who was very much in hard labor (closing in on transition) and her birth photographer was very ill and could I please come and shoot the birth for them.

I most certainly did NOT in my groggy stupor tell her to check the momma and please call me back!!! Oh no, not me!! It's not like she's been a midwife for 20+ years and I've shot .... oh... TWO births! I certainly would NOT tell the midwife what to do! Not me!

While driving around the corner to my sister's house yesterday, I most certainly wasn't eating fried chicken while driving. First of all, that would be dangerous to drive and eat greasy, fried chicken. Secondly, it would make me a hick. And I am definitely NOT a hick.

And while driving I did NOT almost hit a mailbox when a piece of the aforementioned fried chicken fell into my nursing bra and I swerved Phil the Suburban when I went digging for it! NOT ME! That would be so tacky! And dangerous!

AND I most definitely did NOT EAT that piece of fried chicken after successfully retrieving it either!

Then after throwing the chicken bone out the window, 6 year old Liv informed me I was littering. I explained to her that the chicken bone was biodegradable and that while I wouldn't normally do it - it was not littering. She then loudly asked, "you mean SQUIRRELS eat chicken bones?!?!?!?". I most certainly did NOT, in any uncertain terms, tell her "Yes" because I just didn't want to get into it with her! That right there would be bad parenting y'all and that is SO Not Me!

And amazingly enough, since I sleep in my nursing bra and hit the floor running this morning without showering, I most definitely did NOT find yet one other tiny piece of fried chicken in my nursing bra earlier today!! Not Me! That would be so totally gross and I would never admit that! Ever!

I also didn't laugh hysterically after finding it! That would just be sick and demented and that is NOT ME!

(Just so you know...I didn't eat that piece. I was already full from dinner.)

Go check out what everyone else is NOT doing this week at MckMama's blog - it makes you feel a whole lot better about yourself!

Of course, it's pretty safe to say that most of you haven't eaten fried chicken out of your bra lately, so maybe it's not necessary to go any further than here... Just sayin'.


Suzanne said...

That was hilarious. I've been NOT known to pick in my bra also for things that have dropped there. What a sight! Have a great week!

Reese's Pieces said...

ROFL! So freakin' funny! My favorite part was imagining Liv getting all worked up over the chicken bone! Love ya girl! Thanks for sharing!

Christine said...

This is the funniest thing, ever! I can just see you driving and munching on that fried chicken.You are a riot.

Carla said...

In the spirit of "True Confessions," I have never: drank out of a glass my dog was just lapping from; nor have I eaten the potato salad he was trying to get off my plate.

You are my inspiriation!

Amanda said...

hum...wonder who that first one was.