Monday, November 10, 2008

Well...It Was Inevitable I Guess.

I do believe the stomach bug has arrived. (Great heaving sigh)

I violently, and I do mean violently, threw up last Monday night. Thankfully, only once. But I felt lousy the rest of the night and the next day. I "thought" it was just pregnancy related stuff.

Silly, little ol' me.

Well tonight, while eating our Chicken Express, I was in mid bite of my delicious chicken with gravy when Hope began to cry and reach for me. She wasn't eating like she normally does and I figured she was just tired.

Boy, did I figure wrong.

For as soon as I pulled her from her high chair I was baptized by the Spirit of Spew. She was Bringing In the Heaves, my friends. Brother Ralph tossed his cookies of damnation all over me.

It was at that moment the Retch Revival began. Oh yes, my sisters and brothers. For no sooner than did that baby girl commit the contents of her stomach to my clothing and kitchen floor then, amazingly enough, the rest of the sinners in the room began to repent.

Hallelujah!

Strains of "I Surrender All" could be heard wafting through our home. Some were already on their knees, pleading with God to spare them from the undeniable pukeatory that would surely overcome them.

Others had already succumbed to the inevitable knowledge that the Battle of Upchuckageddon was upon us. Some were choosing not to be sick, others knew they were chosen to be sick.

I did the only thing I knew to do. I pulled out the Hydrated Bentonite. Or, what my midwife's husband affectionately calls...

Rhinoceros Snot.

We all took a shot, some kicking and screaming, hoping it will do the trick.

We're now hunkering down around here, preparing for the worst, but praying for deliverance (and I don't mean the Burt Reynolds kind).

I'll keep you posted.

4 comments:

jill said...

Bless your heart! Something very similar brought my youngest home early from school. I am praying we aren't all getting it. We all are just getting over the respiratory crud. I will especially pray for you, though. What a time for that to happen! Oh man!

Rosa said...

We have been dealing with stomach virus on and off for 4 weeks. What are you taking for this? I feel for you. Hugs!

Shelly said...

You have such a great way of words to make even a stomach virus humorous.

Little Loveys Mom said...

man we love chicken express....it was the chicken that got ppl sick was it? say it isn't sooooo