Monday, April 14, 2008

Organization and the Lack Thereof

I love my children. I really do. But people, children are messy.

I do believe that most people are born sloppy by nature and have to be trained to be neat and tidy. Those that know me are now rolling on the floor laughing hysterically. Stop it! All of you! I am anything BUT neat and tidy. I like to say I'm creative. I am a work in progress. I am organizationally challenged.

The kids? Yeah, they're like me.

And Monk? He's more like Oscar Madison from The Odd Couple. So genetically, our children are doomed.

If I could change one thing about myself it would be my organizational skills. I long to be organized and neat. I yearn to not have paper piles that I incessantly have to go through looking for some piece of mail I've misplaced. I dream of never losing my wedding band and then finding it covered in dust in some lone spot, up high on the computer cabinet. After TWO years!

I've have really been trying hard as of late to train my girls to be neater. (I've given up on the 16 yo son. He just stinks. Period. He's cute, but he stinks. Or rather his room stinks. He just smells like a gallon of Axe on most days. To cover up his man stink.) I'm finding that when one unorganized person tries to teach little unorganized people how to be organized, it is pretty much futile. The blind leading the blind, if you may.

I've made many attempts at organization in the past, most of the time giving up within a few days. Mostly because around here, by the time you get one room neat and tidy the rest of the house looks like a tornado went through it.

But this time it's different. It HAS to be. You know why?

It's called...THE SIXTH CHILD, FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD!!

Six children, two adults, a dog and two cats in a 4 bedroom, 1950 square foot house. Organization will have to be a must. Do you know why?

THE SIXTH CHILD, FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD!! (There's a pattern here people, stay with me.)

No, really. The real reason is...

My own personal sanity. Noise doesn't bother me. Running through the house doesn't faze me. Viruses involving vomit are not pleasant, but I can deal with them. Children tying one another up is like water off a duck's back for me. But the clutter?

IT'S DRIVIN' ME CRAZY AND IT'S A SHORT DRIVE!!

So.

Once again, I'm attempting to get organized and I'm going to use you people to keep me accountable. I've tried this before and failed miserably, but this time I have people that I know will stalk me and force accountability upon me whether I want it or not. You know who you are.

Plus, I'm on the fast train to morning sickness any day now and time is of the essence. So this week, my room to organize is....the little girl's bedroom (insert ominous music here). Have mercy!

So pray for me as I begin to conquer the likes of Polly Pocket and Barbie (the shameless hussy). Bitty Babies, Cabbage Patch and that wretched plush, called stuffed animals (may I just say that stuffed animals are an invention of the devil, himself).

I'm goin in and kickin' some baby doll bootie! I will prevail!

I will! I will! I will!

I hope.

5 comments:

Lizardbreath said...

Use the best organizational tool ever invented...the trash bag! Send those plush to the police station. You can do it!!! I know you can!!! This will be the BEST DAY EVER!

mindi said...

Take photos of before and after, that will inspire you!! Coming from the most unorganized person on the planet.
But I ASPIRE, just like you, to be organized. One of these days, but definitely not today.
How are things? Are you feeling okay?
I can't believe you're having a baby!! That's so wonderful :D

Mrs. Elliott said...

Michelle--you can totally do it! You are an awesome Mama, those dolls don't have nuthin' on you!

Lizardbreath said...

Hey Michelle...since you haven't posted today...did you finish the girls' room?

Michelle said...

Liz and Mrs. E,
Thanks for the encouragement!! I need all the help I can get! I haven't finished the room. Rather than making things into "day" projects, I'm making them "week" projects. That way the rest of the house doesn't suffer because I'm killing myself to get a room clean. I'm hoping to punch out a good portion of it tomorrow.

Mindi,
Though the sting and humiliation of "before" photos will haunt me for a lifetime, I do plan on doing just that! I love before and after pics! Especially when I actually do the "after" part.

I'm feeling pretty good right now. I'm just 6 weeks, so I may have a few left until the heavy duty morning sickness starts. Biggest symptom? I am SO tired. And I'm the mother of the baby that never sleeps, so that isn't helping. Thanks for asking! :)