Reaping In Spite Of Ourselves

I was going through the garden a few days ago and picked a few "fruits of our labor". If you could see the state of our garden right now you would understand why I put the last four words of the last sentence in quotes.

You see, months of morning sickness is not conducive to much weeding. Monk has not only worked his normal 8 or 9 hour job, but has selflessly spent hours cleaning once he was off work and then running out to buy the family some dinner. By the time all of that was finished, the day was pretty much over. He has spent several nights watering the garden in the dark. Usually tired from the previous day's hectic schedule, he would spend many of his lunch hours napping. So, not much time for weeding on his part either.

Our garden has suffered.

So as I picked the squash and cucumbers a few days ago, I marveled. I marveled that despite the overgrown weeds, things were still growing. In spite of our neglect, we were still managing to acquire some fruits for our labor, though meager it may be.

Then, I looked around amidst the overwhelming amount of weeds and the unkempt plot of earth and what did I think of?

Me.

All of sudden it dawned on me just how much I am like that weedy garden. How many times in my life has my spiritual life been as unkempt as that garden? How many times have I neglected to take care of it as I should? How many times have I gone "through the motions," performing perfunctory deeds just because I had to?

And how many times has God blessed me in spite of myself?

While many times I have forsaken God, he has never forsaken me (though there are times it has certainly felt like it). There are times, more often than not, that I am covered in weeds. And yet He sees, in His Divine Providence, to bless me anyway.

Do I deserve His blessings? Absolutely not. Did I do anything to earn these blessings? Absolutely not. Will He continue to bless me in spite of myself?

I just don't know.

What I do know is that my spiritual garden needs some tending. Did God slap me between my eyes to show me this? Nope. He could have though. He gently nudged me by showing me the weedy garden in my backyard.

So if you'll excuse me, I have a few gardens to tend.