The day I left for Michigan our air conditioner decided to get sick and refused to work. Our house was 81 degrees and 8:15am! I was one unhappy, pregnant mother. Thankfully, it was fixed by noon and to the tune of only $234!!! But you know, money really becomes no object when your body is sweating profusely from every known orifice. And then some. And nursing an infant when you are both sticky and sweaty is really no treat either. I truly don't know how women did it 100 years ago. I am a certifiable wimp.
And do y'all remember how I talked about hating to fly? Well guess what?
Now I REALLY HATE TO FLY!!
Our flight home was a nightmare, to say the least. It was running late because of storms in Dallas. Then, when we finally boarded the plane and left the gate, we taxied around the airport for oh, 25 minutes! It was at that point that the airplane came to a stop and the captain turned OFF the engines. He proceeded to tell us there were more delays and we could unfasten our seat belts and mosey about the cabin. Actually, he said, "dance in the aisles". Smart alec captain.
Then a storm came through and we had to wait for that too. Lovely.
After another 35 minutes of absolutely, um...NOTHING we were finally told to take our seats that we were ready for take off. It was still raining, yet the worst of the storm was past already.
At least that's what I thought.
May I just say that during take off I was quite certain that I was going to be seeing Jesus, Himself, real soon. The plane was bobbing and swaying and DROPPING at an alarming rate. I'm fairly certain that had I not had an 11 month old baby in my arms I might have started crying. Profusely. My sister, S. just laughed at me.
Because you know, we are nothing if not a loving and supportive family. Ahem.
The girl on the other side of her was making some sort of singing sound every time the plane would lurch. I could swear it was scaring the Opera right out of her. My sister laughed at her too. Evil, she is.
I thought that once we got in the air that things would settle down. Apparently that's what I get for thinking. The plane bobbed and swayed for two and a half solid hours. I was a vomitous ball of nerves for the entire flight. And my sister? You guessed it. She laughed.
Forty-five minutes before we were to land, my bladder decides it cannot and will not take it anymore. I had to go! Baby G had slept the entire flight so far and it was killing me to have to wake her, but my body was NOT going to let her sleep. So, me and my sister have to ask Opera Girl to move so we could make our way to the back of the plane. She grudgingly obliges.
Did y'all know that turbulence is even worse in the back of the plane?!
And worse yet, did y'all know that one can nearly obtain brain damage upon trying to pull ones britches up when the plane lurches sideways and one's head is smashed firmly into the side of the tiny little bathroom stall? I'm just sayin', is all.
After near toppling into some poor man's lap on the way back to my seat, I managed to get settled, praying profusely that I would get to see my family again and not fall from the sky in a great ball of fiery flames. But I wasn't worried. Really.
The flight landed safely and it was at that point I asked my sister if I could whoop and holler, "Hallelujah". She did not laugh. I also vowed the vow of never stepping foot on an airplane again if at all humanly possible. And I meant it. I wanted to kiss the airport floor after we
I was never more happy to see Monk in all my life and I told him so. He was quite happy to see me as well. We were happy people. Our flight was supposed to have landed at 8:54 pm. It was now 10:45 pm. By the time we picked up luggage, dropped off my sister and arrived home, it was nearly midnight. Despite the time, I was greeted by a gaggle of girls very happy to see their Momma! They made a sign and everything. And might I say that Baby Girl was quite happy to see her sisters as well, evidenced by her loud squeals of delight.
I have three words to say about that night. Land Is Good! And that's all I'm going to say about that.
In other news, I thought I would give a
So, my new motto: Drugs Are Good.
Oh lawsy, I can't wait to see the key word hits I'm going to get on that little doosey!