Singing in a Barren Land

I know around here things are pretty crazy sometimes. Bloggy speaking, that is. I have a rather nutty sense of humor and I really do like to use it and share it. But plainly speaking, sometimes you feel like a nut...and sometimes you don't.

Right now, I don't.

I don't want people to think that I'm always just this obnoxious nut posting pictures of donuts and trying to give my children away. I really do have a serious side and I really do use my brain. More importantly, I really do desire the things of God. Sometimes I just need to take a break from the silliness and this is one of those times.


I know that sometimes I go through periods in my life of a spiritual barrenness. It is such a lonely place to be. I have felt like a dry and barren land, abandoned by God and too ashamed to admit it to anyone else. But God is good to me every time. He restores me always and again I am full and overflowing.


Then today I was reading in a Charles Spurgeon devotional I have. Nothing complicated, just simple, short devotionals. I came across this, which says it all beautifully:


There are times when we feel very barren. Prayer is lifeless, love is cold, faith is weak; each grace in the garden of our heart languishes and droops. In such a condition, what are we to do? I can sing of Jesus Christ. I can talk of visits which the Redeemer has paid to me. I can magnify the great love with which He loved His people when He came from the heights of heaven for their redemption. I will go to the cross again. Come, my soul, heavy laden you once were and lost your burden there. Go to Calvary again. Perhaps that very cross which gave you life may give you fruitfulness. What is my barrenness? It is the platform for His fruit-creating power. What is my desolation? It is the setting for the sapphire of His everlasting love. I will go in poverty, I will go in helplessness, I will go in all my shame and backsliding; I will tell Him that I am still His child, and in confidence in His faithful heart, I will sing and cry aloud. Sing, believer, for it will cheer your heart and the hearts of other desolate ones. Sing on, for now that you are really ashamed of being barren, you will be fruitful soon; now that God makes you reluctant to be without fruit, He will soon cover you with clusters. The experience of our barrenness is painful, but the Lord's visitations are delightful. A sense of our own poverty drives us to Christ, and that is where we need to be, for in Him is our fruit found.


Strengthen My Spirit from Charles Spurgeon


I pray that when another time of barrenness comes for me, and it will come, that I can look on these words of comfort. I pray that in my shame and backsliding ways, I will look to Him and still sing. I pray that He will bring that shame of my barrenness upon me and that I will want nothing more than Him. And I pray that once again He will cover me in clusters and my fruit will be found only in Him.

Badda Boom Badda Bing, Momma Just Won Some Teething Bling!

Oh yes! Oh yes indeed! Can you believe I actually won something during The Fall Bloggy Giveaway? Me...the girl who couldn't win a contest if I were the last person on earth! I WON!!

Just what is Teething Bling, you ask? Well it's cute, fashionable, wearable jewelry that your baby can teethe on while you are wearing it. Pretty slick, huh? One of those ideas where you smack yourself on the side of the head and think to yourself, "why didn't I think of that?". Some things are just not meant to be, y'all.

This Teething Bling is from Smart Mom Jewelry and I love it! Let me say that again a little louder now....

I LOVE IT!

I'm just gonna say right now, this in NOT a paid advertisement. (Although I certainly wish it were because I am nothing if not a baby marketing expert. Don't ya know? And I could certainly use the extra cash flow being that we are going on our first vacation in 3 years. But alas, since I am a blogging nincompoop I will probably never profit from my tortuous rambling. However, I digress.) They did not ask me to say all of these nice things. I'm just doing it because 1. I like love their product and 2. I'm a nice person. I've also linked them in my sidebar just 'cause I think they're pretty neat.

What? Pictures? You want to see pictures? Oh right!

The box. I had to take a picture of the box. It was just so cute.
(Isn't the crocheted doily an excellent and exciting effect?)

There it is. In all of it's Teething Bling glory! It's so purdy!

Are y'all jealous now? I know I'd be jealous of me. PUHLEEZ.

Anyway, I will hopefully be posting pictures later this week to show me wearing my new Bling. And if we're lucky maybe I can get a shot of Baby Girl chewing on the cute stuff!

Because we all know there is nothing cuter than a baby sucking on her momma's jewelry, right?

The Breakfast of Champions

Who would have thought a box of sugar and carbs could create such excitement around our house?

We have some happy (and hyper) children this morning.

The adults ain't doin' so bad either.

Processed Food Proficiency

So I went to our local Albertson's store the other day. They were running a special where it was basically a 10 for $10 kinda deal. I scoured my coupons and diligently marched myself (not really, I actually drove because I am WAY too outta shape to be marching like 3 miles. Plus marching makes my Mommy Muffin jiggle way too much) to the store.

I was bound and determined to only stick to my coupons and the 10 for $10 and not to be drawn in by other so-called specials. I'm easily distracted like that. Oh look, a squirrel. And so I got my shopping cart and cautiously proceeded.

My ADD tendencies kicked in immediately and I was looking at all manner of grocery store goodness when I told myself to STOP IT! I managed to regain control and began picking out my processed food extravaganza.

Mind you, these are not items I buy on a regular basis because I'm more of a "cook from scratch" kind gal. BUT...I had coupons and doggone it, I was gonna use them!

Here's my haul:-2 bags Chex Mix
-2 Betty Crocker cookie mixes
-2 boxes Pizza Rolls
-1 Toaster Strudel
-1 Pillsbury cookie dough
-1 Betty Crocker whipped frosting
-1 Betty Crocker scalloped potatoes
-1 Dove Nourishing hand soap

So. How much do you think I spent? Hmm?

I can guarantee you it WASN'T $10. It wasn't even $7. Or $5. At this point, after I had Monk guessing he began to channel Fred Sanford. He grabbed his chest, swayed, then said, 'I'm comin' Lizabeth.' Okay, he didn't really do that, but he was surprised that he had to guess lower.

$3.14.

That's it. And it would have been $2.14, but the dumb self-checkout wouldn't take two of my computer printed coupons totaling a dollar more off. Stupid self-checkout. Anyway, I began to feel the "angry eyes" of the customers behind me burning softball size holes in my back. So, I decided sometimes it's just best to leave well enough alone and to not anger the other non-money-saving-paying-full-price-forget-the-doggone-coupons kind of shoppers.

Ahhh, the joys of frugality. Now excuse me, while I go consume some partially hydrogenated oils.

Backwards WFMW: Traveling With Kiddos

So that crazy Shannon over at Rocks In My Dryer is at it again. It's another "backwards" version of WFMW. Asking for helpful tips and advice rather than giving it.

Mercy knows I'm all for giving my opinion, but today I need some suggestions for myself.

We will be leaving for Michigan in a week and a half with the three smallest of our 5 kiddos. We will also be renting a van so we won't have to drive the Loser Cruiser. This is a good thing in that if we were taking the Loser Cruiser we would have to be talking LIKE THIS FOR THE WHOLE TRIP. BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, THE LOSER CRUISER IS 8 YEARS OLD AND IT HAS SEEN BETTER DAYS AND IT'S NOT A VERY QUIET RIDE ANYMORE. That and the fact that we would probably be broke down on the side of the road somewhere in Bucksnort Tennessee.

So, my question to y'all would be:

Do you have any ideas, tips, fancy methods or sage advice on how to travel with 3 children ages 7, 4, and 4 months?

The rental van might possibly have a DVD player and that would be great. We are also thinking about purchasing one ourselves Just In Case, if you know what I mean. For those of you that have DVD players in your vehicles, do you like them? Do they become annoying after, say, the first 10 hours of driving?

I'm afraid there will only be so much of Disney I will be able to tolerate and that by the time we get to Michigan I will want to drown The Little Mermaid with my bare hands. The rebellious fish that she is. Or better yet, let the Beast go ahead and eat Belle for being such a mouthy, little snippet.

On the other hand, I could take my Walton's DVDs and spend the whole trip with John, Olivia, Gradmaw, Grandpaw, JohnBoy, Mary Ellen, Jason, Erin, Ben, James Robert a.k.a. Jim Bob and Elizabeth. And we mustn't forget Ike and Cora Beth or The Baldwin Sisters. I know, I know. Sick and twisted.

I digress.

Anyway, I would love and welcome anything you fine internet people have to offer me in the area of traveling with little ones and keeping my sanity. Bless you all.

And The Winner Is...

Actually, there were two winners. Let me do some 'splainin'.


The first winner that was picked (not by the paper tearing method, by the way. With 272 comments I didn't want to carelessly take down some tree just to write numbers down. That tree would be better used for toilet paper around here) was notified and ever so graciously declined the prize. Why? She had already won something and felt it would be only fair to let someone else have a shot at winning. Is that not the kindest thing ever?

Ann, you are a kindred spirit in my book!


So, then I had to pick a number again. And let me just say that I don't really care for that random integer thing. I wanted to make it more personal. So, I asked everyone in the family who could count to give me a number between 1 and 272. I then added all those numbers together and then averaged it out. That, y'all, was the winning number. I am warped beyond words. I know.


And if there are any sicko math loving junkies out there who want to point out some flaw in my system, let me just say here and now, that I am too pretty to do math and therefore anything you say will just go right through my blonde highlights and into oblivion. Please, don't put the strain on your fingers to type something to me because frankly, I just won't... get... it.


The winner, right? Not quite yet, y'all.


Seeing that I NEVER get 272 comments (much less 2 comments) unless I'm giving something free away, I decided that I wanted to savor my Blogger Rock Star moment a little longer and go over some comment highlights before I revealed the winner. Hate me if you want. It's my 2 seconds of fame and I'm gonna ride that pony for all she's worth, doggone it!



Here we go:



A Woman Who Truly Feels My Pain

Stacey said...
Hmmm, I do like the idea of the 16 y/o giveaway, but alas, I have my own 16 y/o son, their rooms smell. So unless yours comes powdered in baking soda, I'll just get the organizer! Love the post, very funny.

Stacey, there is not a 16yo boy alive who's room doesn't smell like the inside of an old, wet sneaker. Baking soda would not even begin to cover it around here. I'm pretty sure my son's room could cause the kind people at Lysol to gag.



Those Trying To Fix My Son Up With A Relative

-Mama Luxe and Amanda both offered me their cousins for my "purdy" boy. Why is it that visions from My Big, Fat, Greek Wedding keep popping into my head when I read this?

- And Sonya was possibly, sorta kinda, maybe, trying to offer up an arranged marriage for her daughter. Hello? I heard no mention of the word dowry here.



Girls After My Own Heart Who Also Inquired About The Pound Cake

Carrie , Susan , Rebecca, Katie B, courtcourt and Robin M.



Girls, let me tell you this is the single, best Pound Cake recipe I have ever made or ever eaten. And I have eaten a lot of Pound Cake in my 38 years. I have the muffin to prove it.



It is not my recipe and I will willingly and freely tell you that I found the recipe here from Boomama's site. And we all KNOW what a Blogging Rock Star she is! You simply MUST try it. However, if you have any sort of aversion to butter, Crisco or eggs...this might not be the go-to recipe for you.

The Most Blatant Attempt At Out And Out Bribery

Angela said...
I'd love to win but maybe I can bribe you with this tip. Unless you have slave labor to help you write and cut up those numbers into that bowl go to random.com/integer. The spelling might be off but its

Just for the record...Children Are Slave Labor. Why do you think I have 5?

And Finally, My New Found Best Friend Forever

striving... said...
okay, first I just have to say, and I am not kissin' up just to get free pampered chef, You do not look like that boys mama, you look old enough to be his girlfriend or for sake of not making him run and hide, good friend. I am serious, I thought it was a friend of his until I read under the picture. You go girl. Okay so, now the giveaway, I LOVE Pampered Chef. And this organizer caddy is awesome. Thanks for the chance.

I love you. What more can I say?

BTW, the girlfriend part? That apparently went a little too far with him and he proceeded to mutter words like "disgusting" and "gross" while running to the bathroom to take a 45 minute hot shower.

So. What was this post about again?

Oh yeah, the WINNER!!

LivingforGod who said: Cool gadget! Please count me in. Thanks

Congratulations LFG! I'll be mailing your new "gadget" this week!

As for me? Whew! All this Bloggy Super Star stuff has done wore me out! I'm goin' to bed!

p.s. in the name of fairness I wanted to mention I borrowed the comment highlights idea from Amy. Her musings crack me up and convict me all at the same time.

Please Stand By...

Due to technical difficulties, I cannot yet post our Fall Bloggy Giveaway winner.


I'm having a few problems contacting the winner which makes it difficult to post the winner, if I cannot, in fact, actually let the winner know that she is, in fact, the winner. Ya know?


The winner has until 5pm Monday to contact me or she will no longer be the winner. At that point I will then select a new winner. Which totally stinks for the first winner.


Are you feelin' my pain?


Anyway, please stand by. I know y'all are just racked with anticipation.

Lasting Impressions

My older sister went back to Michigan yesterday. I already miss her terribly. My kids miss her. He wouldn't admit it, but I even think Monk might miss her a little as well.

But don't feel sad for me people, for my sister has left a lasting impression upon my 7yo. This would be evidenced by the fact that last night she informed her daddy that she was, in fact, having a ...

Hot Flash.

Yep. Lasting impressions.

Dragging My Tail to Bed

Officially, all extra family members have left and returned to their respective homes.

Meanwhile, I'm pooped.

And the eating and shopping? Let's just say my Mommy Muffin is a little larger, possibly turning into a Mommy Loaf and now I'm broke. Was it worth it? You bet.

I have many pictures to share and much to write, but for now?

This girl is goin' to bed!

Dyson Deliciousness

Okay, so with 5 kids, a dog, two cats and fish we have a lot of dirt.

Dirt requires a vacuum cleaner. Vacuum cleaners require money. Money requires work.

It really is a vicious cycle, y'all.

Anyway, as far as vacuum cleaners go, there aren't too many better than a Dyson.

Except maybe a PINK Dyson vacuum cleaner!! PINK!! I have visions of me in my apron and high heels vacuuming with my PINK Dyson while humming the theme song from Leave It To Beaver. June Cleaver would SO use a PINK Dyson. Would she not?!! Oh yes ma'am she would!

So, there is this fantastic opportunity to win a free PINK Dyson over at Domestic Diva. And don't you know I am all about free. In case your still not sure...FREE!

One more time. FREE.

So y'all head on over there and try to win a totally bodacious PINK Dyson too. For FREE!

June would be so proud.

Bloggy Giveaway

**Edit**The deadline for entries is 8pm Saturday. At that time I will close comments. I will draw for the winner on Saturday, but will not post the winner until Monday. This would be for dramatic, nail-biting purposes only. That and the fact that I am proficient in procrastination**

Alrighty, I'm a little late getting out of the gate here, but I AM here. The family thang is totally throwing off my groove, but I am having a totally great time eating and shopping. So, on to the giveaway...

I debated about what to give away for a good long time. Let me tell you, those two hours were torture.

At first I was going to offer up my firstborn.

Yes, my 16 yo son was going to be my bloggy giveaway. He has many qualities that would benefit someone greatly. He is:

1. Tall (6'2") - This is great for those hard to reach items on top of the refrigerator.

2. Strong (like bull) - This is very beneficial for those pesky pickle jars.

3. He does what he is told when he is bribed, yelled at, asked most of the time. He is a mighty fine yard edger if I do say so myself.

4. He's a football player - not sure what an outside linebacker is good for around the house, but they are great fun to go and watch.

5. He is mighty purdy (pretty for those non-southern speaking folk) - not sure what that is good for either other than the fact I like lookin' at him.

(me and the purdy boy)

But then I found out that 1.it is not legal to give away your firstborn spawn child and 2. it would not benefit you or I because I would have to fly him to you as opposed to mailing him and that would be like expensive and once you received him then you would have to feed him and that would, well, like be expensive.

So.

Here is the official Bloggy Giveaway item up for grabs.

One brand new, in the box, Pampered Chef Tool Turnabout. Long, long ago, in a galaxy far, far away, I used to sell Pampered Chef. I love the stuff like I love my luggage, but I have an excessive amount of extras and since my highly organized, slave driving efficient sister is in town, she is encouraging a purging of non-necessary items.

And since this is the Bloggy Giveaway week I thought it would be nice to bless someone else with this organizational tool. Far be it from me to use the thing for organization. Plus, I already own one.

It can not only be used for storing kitchen utensils, but it is great for scrap booking pens and scissors, sewing paraphernalia and a vast assortment of other nifty items as well.

(notice my delicious pound cake in the background)

All you need to do is leave a comment in my comment section and I will officially enter you in the drawing which will be held on Saturday, November 3, 2007. I will use my state of the art number generator to choose the winner. This means I will tear up multiple pieces of paper, write your numbers on them and let the 7yo draw out of a bowl. How's that for technology?

Unfortunately, while I love my peeps in Canada and across all oceans, this giveaway will only be open to U.S. residents because I like have 5 children and can only afford my own country. And the Monk would not be happy if I spent a gazillion dollars on shipping free stuff to people I don't know.

If y'all would like more free Bloggy Giveaway deliciousness then head over to This Place and find umpteen thousand other totally free giveaways.

Family Update

Still shopping. Still eating.

Consuming large quantities of Zantac 150.




(we, however, do not shoot our food)

It's A Family Thing Y'all

The family has arrived in town this past week. We've been shopping, eating, had a wedding, eating shopping. Did I mention shopping and eating?

I'll be layin' low for a while just hangin' out with the family. You know, eating and shopping.

I'm making pound cake a la Boomama right now so we will have something to nibble on while we're trying to be crafty. I like to refer to it as brain food. No calories or fat, you know.

Anyway, plenty of blog fodder has occurred for future posts, but for now I need to go back to eating.

Oh. And shopping.

Y'all come back now, ya hear.

"Bear"ly Bothered

Did y'all notice that even though the sneezing baby panda scared the jeepers out of the momma panda that she NEVER QUIT CHEWING HER FOOD!

I must say, I truly respect a female that even under a time of extreme duress, can not only keep her composure, but continue to chew her cookie.

The girl has some major skills.

One must also admire the fact that the jiggle factor of her fat roll doesn't seem to bother her even one little bit. Nope. No panda Lycra for her mommy muffin.

Hmmm...if only I could lay around all day with my fat roll hangin' out, eat cookies, watching the baby sleep.

Oh, wait a minute...

Easy Peasy Toddler Crayons

Fact: Regular crayons in the hands of a toddler are toast.

Fact: Larger "specialty" toddler crayons cost a small fortune or your first born to purchase.

Myth: I will either have to deal with broken crayons or pay lotsa moola (or my first born) for toddler crayons

Not so my peeps. Herd up all them broken crayons and turn your ovens to 300 degrees and by golly, we'll make us some toddler crayons!

Step 1. Turn your oven to 300 degrees. Find and "old" mini muffin pan and either spray with non-stick spray or line with foil. Cute little mini muffin liners may be used if you are so inclined.

Step 2. Have your children or yourself peel away all paper from broken crayons and break into small pieces. This is the ONLY time in your child's life he will be allowed to break crayons. Let him proceed with reckless abandon.
Crayola really does work best for this. Cheapie crayons don't. Period. If using Crayola, hold crayon to nose and inhale deeply. Ahhh, Crayola goodness. Just brings back memories of 4th grade, huh?
Step 3. Divide crayons amongst muffin hole thingies. You can just throw colors in randomly if your that wild and crazy kinda mom OR you can put them in according to color if you really want this to be a learning experience for your toddler. Then he can learn his colors while scribbling, but not before putting the crayon to his nose (or up it, whatever floats his boat) and inhaling deeply. Ahhh, Crayola goodness.

(Just for the record, I am more of the wild and crazy mom and certainly would have mixed my colors, but I gave birth to a very anal daughter 14 years ago and she insisted on separating by color. She can also do math. Unlike me.)

Step 4. Put muffin pan into oven for approximately 5 minutes. These do not take long at all to melt. Once they are melted, pull the pan from the oven and begin to wait. I stuck mine in the fridge because I'm not a very patient woman at all. Even though it's a virtue and everything, I just do not excel in the patience area. I don't pray for it either because we all know what happens when we do that!


When these have sufficiently cooled then they can be removed from the muffin hole thingies (so, what are the holes called?!!) Foil and liners make this a little easier. If you just sprayed your pan then life becomes a little more interesting. You must take a sharp object, a knife would be good, and go around the edges and sort of pry ease them out. If you've sprayed your pan well, they will come out. I promise. There should be no wailing and gnashing of teeth involved in this process. Do y'all notice how the brown one looks like a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup? Well. It's not. Trust me. Although, you could put it up to your nose and inhale deeply. Ahhh, Crayola goodness.

Want more interesting ideas and tips? Head over to Rocks In My Dryer and check things out.

Look Y'all, It's Fall!

Nothing like some chilly weather and a batch of Pumpkin Muffins to tell *Momma's favorite season Fall to "come on in and sit a spell"! Or better yet, Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Muffins! *Momma was feelin' the Fall weather yesterday and soon she was putting on her apron and channeling Betty Crocker. Yep. Nothin' says luvin' like Pumpkin Muffins from the oven.

And look at me. A poet and don't know it.

*Momma would be me. Not, and I repeat, not my mother. You know, like MadMommaMonk, which is what the hubs calls me on his blog. I just was totally in the mood to talk in the third person today, that's all.

More Blogger Honesty

We all have images in our heads of the person we want to be or become. I know I did - and still do. I also know that it has taken two years for my blog to really take on my real personality. I look back in my archives and while I remember the things I wrote, I sometimes don't recognize the person writing them. Does that make sense?


I guess it took me a while to find myself in blogdom.

When I acquire my new blog template (and I AM going to, by the way. Victory, at last!), I want it to really convey who I am. I want what I blog about to paint a true and accurate picture of...well, me. I think it is so easy to hide behind the cute pictures and anecdotal little stories all the while fooling all of blogdom into thinking you're something you're not. A farce, if I may.

Now, don't get your dainties in a dither here. I'm not writing all of this to confess to you that I've been blogging a lie and that I'm really some big, hairy man, typing from my basement in Wisconsin. All the while eating large quantities of cheese. And nuts. Roasted and salted.

I'm not. Really. I am in fact a wo-man (key word here, y'all) in Texas (sometimes hairy I suppose), typing on either my teenage son's laptop or a desktop in a garage office , which by the way also holds the cat litter and my husbands desk, trying to nurse a 3 month old baby, homeschooling a 7 year old, attempting to homeschool a 4 year old and looking at the mountain of laundry on my love seat that I should be folding instead of blogging. But hey, I'm nursing the baby, right? Oh. And eating large quantities of chocolate. Large quantities of cheese? It DO bad things to me. Yep. Bad things.

My point is that sometimes things are not what they seem. As women, in particular, I find that this can get us into a heap 'o' trouble. We start seeing other women's blogs and their crafts, and their neat and tidy homes (but I'm not bitter.), and their frugal finds and we start becoming discontent with what we have. We want what they have.

So, what do we do? We start trying to do more crafts or sewing... while neglecting our homes. We start trying to find the best frugal deals so we can ever so proudly post our pictures on the blog, BUT never minding the fact that we shouldn't have spent the money in the first place. We start begging our husbands for new blog templates so we can be like the other bloggers. I would never do that last one. Ever.

I'm not even going to touch the neat and tidy house part. No sirree. Ain't even goin' there.

Honestly, while I'm fairly certain that most of the momma/homemaker bloggers out there are honest folk, I do think it would be pretty easy to paint a picture that perhaps might not be totally accurate. Or worse yet, the way we interpret them might be slightly skewed. I'm just sayin' unless we really know these people, like in real life know them, we really don't know what goes on behind the blog, so we need not make assumptions.


I'm not trying to write some expose entitled Bloggers That Lead Double Lives - Did They Really Save That Much At CVS? I'm just wanting to convey the fact that I want to be myself. I don't want anybody to think that I have it all together (ROFL) or that I can do this or that and that they should be doing it too.

Please don't think I'm slamming or insulting the blogs that focus on the things I mentioned above. I am not at all. I DO read them and enjoy them. Immensely. If you're a naturally crafty, neat and tidy (Heaven bless you!), and frugal all in one then I think that is positively fantastic! Really, I do. I have friends that are like that and I love them.

I think it is great to go and read someone else's blog and gain inspiration or motivation from them. I do this on a regular basis. I especially love the recipes. Recipes R Good. I just think we need to be careful. Careful not to start coveting what we don't have or can't do. Careful not to let it breed discontentment in our lives. Careful not to forget that glorifying God should be our chief end.

So, I guess I've blabbered on for forever and a lifetime to say this: I want people to enjoy reading here. I want to be who I am (y'all know..the unorganization thing, and all). I want people to see me for me. Especially other mothers or homemakers who struggle with insecurity or doing it "all" (as I do sometimes). I want people to see that I struggle with my walk with the Lord. More importantly, I want to give God the glory for all things. Good or bad.

Believe it or not, y'all help me with all of these things. Y'all keep me accountable for what I type. And those that know me for real, know I'm unorganized. These are good things. They keep me honest. They keep me humble. They keep me looking to God to help me in all of these areas.

I know y'all deserve some sort of reward for reading this novel 'til the end. The fact that you made it this far and didn't quit after the 437th paragraph tells me that y'all are good people.

Yep. Good people.

Foiled Again

OK. So my evil creative plan didn't work.

He saw what I had posted and counter posted me threatening to get me a Dora the Explorer blog template if his blog was pummeled with comments.

But since NO ONE commented on his blog... Swiper, No Swiping will in fact, not be my new blog title now. Ahem.

Did I mention no one went to his blog?

I have one word for y'all.

Chickens.

Let's Work Together...

So, you know I've been workin' Monk lately to buy me a new fancy schmancy blog template for Christmas. Unfortunately, I've also been workin' him for an iPod Nano (a girl needs her tunes) and these. Two sets. So I can have service for 8.


What can I say? I'm a highly complex and diverse individual.


Any other Christmas I'm saying things like, 'oh, it doesn't matter what you get me. A Yankee candle, or three, will be just fine'. Not so this year. I want things people. Specific things. Please don't mistake my "specific things" for greed because 'tis -not- so. You can ask anyone that knows me -or buys for me- that I just don't ask for specifics very often. With the exception of a Yankee candle. Or three.



Of the three things I've listed, I figure I can do without these the most. I just reeeaaallly luuu-huvvv them! And the iPod Nano? Well, I suppose I can still listen to my CD's on my handy, dandy, under the counter CD player.



But the blog template? No can do. I simply must have a new template. I'm just thinking of those of you that read here really...all two of you. Y'all see the state of misery this thing is in. It's screaming for color and personality. It's also screaming for readership, but that's a completely different issue, now isn't it?



So, this is where the "let's work together" thing comes in. I'm asking those of you that do read - all two of you- and those that just happen to stumble across my blog because for some reason you googled the words - pathetic and blog - in the same sentence, to please help me obtain a new template.



How, you ask?



I'm asking y'all -both of you- to beseech my husband on my behalf, and plead my case to him as to just how pathetic my blog template is and how it is paramount that I recieve a new one.




Still asking how?



Well you could leave a comment here...OR...you could go to his blog, which by the way is full of much more discerning and penetrating content then let's say, um, here, and pummel, batter, pelt, inculcate him with your many evidences as to why I need a new blog template.



Namely, this one looks pathetic. Or you could even say that the blandness of it is stifling my schtick. It's curtailing my creativity. It's vexing my vibe. It's making me mental. Okay, well that last one is the status quo...but still.



Or that you just simply want me to shut-up whining about it.



I'm imploring y'all, for the love of all that is good and right, just let the man know what his wife really wants and needs (I'm using this term in a completely and totally creative sense here) for Christmas.




And to the lurkers? I know who you are. Please come out of hiding for me. For the blog. For the love of all mankind and the free world.

Oh.



And use big words. He likes them.

Jumpin' Jehosophat! The Cat Came Back!

So, some of you might remember in my Monday post that we realized Monday afternoon that one of our two cats was missing. Since...um..Saturday.

This particularly hateful feline, named Gigi, had been gone for 3 WHOLE DAYS! We just knew something bad had happened to her. Our house backs up to a creek and wooded area and we have seen foxes and all other sorts of random critterage back there. We assumed she had become a Happy Meal of sorts, for one of them.

Monk was silently doing a happy dance as he didn't really like this cat. Sis was rather gleeful about the disappearance as well, even breaking into strains of The Hallelujah Chorus from Handel's Messiah a time or twenty. Me? I was rather indifferent to the whole thing as I have become somewhat numb to tragic things happening to our animals. It just does.

But Madgirl? Oh my. Oh, my, my, my. It was not pretty. No sirree. She cried. She sulked. She wrote bad poetry. She blamed us that her psycho cat went flying out the door Saturday night and we did not call out a search and rescue party. I mean, this cat had done this before and had always come back. She normally doesn't even leave the confines of the backyard. Until this past Saturday night. Oops.

So, just when we figured she was gone for good, what do you think happened? She came sauntering up onto the back deck, squawling her head off at about 10:30 last night.

Yep. Monk didn't want to open the door, but he did anyway because you know, it was the right thing to do, after all.

That and he wanted to stop the Madgirl from turning her 3 day drama into a made for t.v. mini-series.

I was doing laundry when he brought her in to show me and I nearly choked on a dryer sheet.

So, what do you think we did next?

Why we went and threw her in the bed with Madgirl. Who was asleep. Sound asleep. Needless to say, she first reacted like she had seen some sort of apparition, then she hugged Gigi and cried and then fell over and went right back to sleep. And that was that.

So, Gigi the Jungle Kitty is now safe and sound, giving her hateful looks and plopping her haughty self on the back of the couch. Business as usual.

And Monk and Sis? Well, there's a little less spring in their step today, but you never know...the back door could just accidentally open tonight.

Or tomorrow.

Or the next day.

Accidentally, of course.